


Memories

by Blinded_HP



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-12 04:45:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15987899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blinded_HP/pseuds/Blinded_HP
Summary: When Merlin and Arthur found Gwaine in Ismere, the Diamair gifted Arthur with a stone filled with memories, not all his own…





	1. The Gift

**Memories**

**Summary:** When Merlin and Arthur found Gwaine in Ismere, the Diamair gifted Arthur with a stone filled with memories, not all his own…  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Merlin and no profit is made from this work of fiction.

 **Chapter disclaimer:** Words and scenes are taken from S01E07, S01E13, S02E01.

**Chapter 1: A Gift**

The creature before them smiled at Gwaine’s reassurance that Merlin and Arthur were friends. For a moment, it looked like it was going to turn around and slip off into the depths of the caves but then it stilled and gave Merlin a deep penetrating look. Arthur glanced between the two but before he could discern the meaning of the look, the creature gave a slight bow and held out a hand to Arthur.

"A gift, great king. May this help you on your journey to becoming the king you are destined to be, the king of prophecy.”

Arthur held his hand out to receive the stone but paused at the end of that sentence. Prophecy? Before he could ask, the stone was deposited in his hand and the creature quickly disappeared into the depths of the caves.

Arthur pocketed the stone, he did not have time right now to think about it, he had to save his knights.

*******************************

Returning to Camelot, Arthur reported all that happened in Ismere to the council before retiring for the night. It was only as Merlin helped him undress that he remembered the stone the creature had gifted him with.

Taking it out of his pocket, Arthur stared at the stone as Merlin took a step closer.

“What is it?” Merlin asked.

“I’m not sure, perhaps we should ask Gaius.”

Merlin nodded and without Arthur even asking, he went looking for the physician.

Arthur twisted the stone around and as he placed it on the table, an image appeared before him:

_Arthur stood in a lake with a girl on his right and a man on his left. He was not moving, just standing between the two as they talked._

_“Go, they are waiting for you.” The man said. “I don’t understand, you’re coming too.” The girl replied._

_“Only one of us can pass through. This was never meant for me.”_

_The girl looked shocked and tearful as she replied:_

_“I only wanted this so we could both return to Avalon.”_

_“Your destiny is on a different path to mine. It is my fate to live a mortal life.”_

_"I do not want to leave you."_

_“You must! Once the ceremony begins, you have to go through with it. The elders expect a soul. If they don’t get his, they will take yours.”_

_“Goodbye. I will never forget you.” Sophia tearfully exclaims before taking Arthur’s hand and leading him into the lake._

He remembers them now, Sophia had been a beautiful girl and Arthur had been quite taken with her. Yet, he did not remember any of this.

The image changed then, and Arthur could only look on in shock as Merlin made his way into the lake, screaming Arthur’s name and diving down every few moments in search of him. How he knew Arthur was in the lake was a mystery, just as much a mystery as to where Sophia and her father had disappeared, but as Arthur watched, he could see Merlin dragging the Arthur in the image out of the water.

Arthur remembered that Merlin had caught up with him and knocked him out with a lump of wood in order to return him to Camelot safely, or at least, that’s what he remembers being told.

“What was that?” Arthur turned to find his wife had come in at some time during the scene and held out his arms. “I don’t know.” He answered. “I don’t know.”

The door to his chambers opened and Gaius and Merlin entered. Arthur looked at them, then at the stone and picked it up.

“Do you have any idea what this is Gaius? It showed me an image just now, an image of Sophia and her father, you remember them?”

Both looked shocked at this information but Gaius moved forward and took the stone from where Arthur held it out.

“This holds powerful magic, your majesty, the runes inscribed on it are powerful indeed.”

Merlin took a step closer, looking at it carefully. “Is it dangerous?”

Arthur looked to Gaius at the question, also wanting to know.

“I do not believe so. The stone holds memories, a lot of memories if I’m reading the runes correctly but they hold no danger to the one using it. The greatest danger would be if you acted on any of the memories without ascertaining their truth.”

Arthur looked up sharply, “I know, Gaius. I would never do that.”

Gaius nodded and handed the stone back to him.

“Then I believe that there is no need for me to tell you that you should put the stone in the vaults and never speak of it again.” With a raised eyebrow, Gaius bowed and exited the room.

“I will take it down tonight, after bringing your supper,” Merlin said as he gathered the lunch plates and goblet.

Arthur gave him a look before shaking his head. “No, no need. I’ll take it down myself when I have the time.”

The look Merlin gave him told Arthur that he was not fooled, that he knew Arthur had no intention of locking the stone up in the vaults.

“Be careful.” Was all that Merlin said as he opened the doors and went to fetch supper for his King and Queen.

*****************************

Arthur picked up the stone and with a last glance at the door, he turned it over again beckoning Gwen closer.

An image of Gaius and Merlin in the Physician’s chambers greeted them.

_“This is no ordinary beast, Merlin.”_

_Merlin was holding a sword and turning it around in his hand. “Don’t worry.”_

_“No, listen to me, you don’t understand.” Gaius said as he walked closer with a book in his hands._

_“Uther may not respect the old religion, but it is very real.”_

_Merlin paid a bit more attention to Gaius then._

_“To face a beast such as this, you must understand where it came from.”_

_“What do you mean?” Merlin asked, still inspecting and cleaning the sword._

_“At the very heart of the old religion, lies the magic of Life and Death itself. The questing beast carries that power. One bite, you die, and there is no cure.”_

_The seriousness of the situation reflects in Merlin’s expression._

Arthur stared at the image in puzzlement. Why on earth was he showed this? Before he could think on it further, the image changed.

Arthur and Gwen were quite confused at first, as it seemed the image started in the middle of a conversation, not the beginning.

_“So you know what I’ve come to ask…” Merlin stated._

_“Yes” a lady answered._

_“Will you do it?” Merlin asked._

_“I do not have the power to mirror life itself and yet give nothing in return.”_

_“I know that a price will be asked.” Merlin stated strongly._

_“To save a life, there must be a death. The balance of the world must be restored.”_

_“I willingly give my life for Arthur’s”. The conviction in Merlin’s tone was clear to all._

_“How brave you are, Merlin.” The lady said with a mocking smile. “If only it were that simple.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Once you enter into this bargain, it cannot be undone.” She answered instead._

_“Whatever I have to do, I will do. His life is worth a hundred of mine.”_

_The lady turned to the altar and suddenly held a gold goblet._

_“The cup of life, blessed by centuries of powerful sorcerers. So that it contains the very secret of life itself. If Arthur drinks water from the cup, he will live.”_

Arthur and Gwen exchanged a troubled glance when they heard which cup it was.

_Merlin slowly stepped up to the altar and took hold of the cup, his decision made._

_The lady incanted something, it now clear that she was a sorceress, and it started raining._

_Merlin collected the rain in the cup and the sorceress poured it into a small container._

_“A bargain is struck.” She said and grabbed Merlin’s arm, a coy smile on her face. “I hope it pleases you.”_

The image ends there and Arthur waits for whatever happens next but no other image is forthcoming.

Frowning, he set the stone back on the table. It seemed that the more he watched, the more questions accumulated in his mind.

Why had Merlin done that? He could discern that it had been after he was bitten by the questing beast so he didn’t wonder about _when,_ just _why?_ And how had Merlin survived? How had he even known where to go and what to do? The only explanation he could think of was Gaius. 

That did not explain the outcome, however. He was fairly certain that the sorceress would have kept to the bargain, she would not have spared Merlin. Her words and sinister demeanor led Arthur to believe that she had indeed taken a life in order to keep up her bargain but it had clearly not been Merlin’s life.

Arthur could not help but dwell on the thought that someone had died in his stead. Someone had taken his place when he should have been the one to die at the bite of the questing beast. This was not the same as a knight fighting in a battle for him, this was something deeper, something far more profound. It was something Arthur was decidedly uncomfortable with.

***********************************

Merlin fluffed the pillows and pulled the blanket up before turning to pick up the breakfast tray.

Arthur watched in silence as his friend and servant cleared away the dishes. He wanted to ask Merlin a lot of questions but he didn’t know where to start.

“In Annis’s castle, you mentioned something.” It was not quite what he wanted to say but it seemed this was what mind had decided on. Merlin stopped and turned to face him.

“Yes?”

“You said that you have many talents I fail to notice. Care to share some of them?”

Merlin’s confusion cleared a bit but there was a hesitant expression on his face like he also didn’t know what to say, where to start.

“It’s nothing, I was just upset and rambling a bit. You know me.” The smile on Merlin’s face, sheepish, innocent and just a bit forced would have been enough to satisfy Arthur once but he had come to know Merlin well over the years and he knew there was more to it than that.

He wanted to push, to pry, but also knew that Merlin wouldn’t answer. Merlin might be an idiot at times but once he clammed up about something, you couldn’t get him to talk, no matter how you tried.

“Very well. That will be all, Merlin. Good night.”

Merlin gave a half bow and exited.

Arthur waited for Gwen to return to their chambers. They had decided that the stone would not be put away in the vaults as Gaius suggested but that they would watch whatever memories it held together. 

***********************************

Arthur didn’t look at Gwen as they watched the next scene, he knew what her expression would be. 

_Merlin was mucking out the stables and didn’t notice when a smoking ball of some sort was thrown in behind him. It took mere seconds for him to fall over, unconscious while a man looked on from the window outside._

_That same man released the horses. “Go on. Go and have some fun. Go on.”_

_The horses raced down the street and, in the image, one of the guards pointed them out to Arthur._

Both King and Queen watched as the Arthur in the image crouched down next to where Merlin’s head lay in a pile of dung. Arthur didn’t have to watch the scene, he knew exactly what happened, but he couldn’t help but cringe a bit at his own behavior. He had done what was necessary under the circumstances but knowing now what had really happened, he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. He watched as this younger version of himself sent Merlin off after giving Cedric the honor of serving him that night.

The scene changed then and Arthur’s guilt only increased as they watched.

_Gaius cleaned Merlin’s face as best he could._

_“I am not an idiot.” Merlin said softly._

_“What happened?”_

_Merlin sighed and shook his head._

_“I just want Arthur to trust me, and to see me for who I really am.”_

_“One day he will.” Gaius assured._

_“When? Everything I do is for him and he just thinks I’m an idiot.”_

_“Not everyone thinks you’re an idiot._

_Although, looking at you now…” Gaius continued with a smile and Merlin couldn’t help but give a reluctant smile and chuckle as well._

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other, smiles on their faces. Yes, Arthur felt a little guilty at how he had handled the situation but he had learned since then that Merlin was not really an idiot, or, not only an idiot.

“You were a bit harsh with him, don’t you think?”

“That was nine years ago! I know he’s not an idiot and you know that I value his opinion. He had only been in my service for a little over a year at the time.” It was a feeble excuse but Arthur had no other to give.

“I know, Arthur. I know you value him as a friend. And he knows it too, now.”

Arthur took comfort in her words and in her arms, turning her toward their bed and slowly stripping them of their clothes.

“Enough about Merlin…”

**End Chapter 1**


	2. Loyalty

**Chapter Disclaimer:** Scenes are taken from S02E03, S02E08 and snippet from S05E03.

**Loyalty**

Arthur had always known that Merlin was uncommonly loyal but after viewing those first three scenes from the stone, he found himself awed and humbled by his manservant.

Going to a sorceress, especially knowing that consorting with one would have had him hanged, in order to save his life was more than Arthur could have ever dreamed him capable of.

“Are you alright Arthur?” Turning around, Arthur smiled at Gwen and pulled her into his arms. “Just thinking. I’ve always known he was loyal but this is beyond all that I knew already.”

“Do you think there is more to it? A specific reason why the creature gave you that stone? I mean, we already know how loyal Merlin is to you, so that can’t be it.” Gwen gave his hand a squeeze and pulled him to the table.

“What reason could there be? I just don’t understand.” Arthur stood in front of the table and gently picked up the stone. With a nod from Gwen, he turned it around before setting it back down.

_There was thunder and lightning as Morgana thrashed in bed, waking up with a gasp. The two observers saw the candle suddenly light itself. She sat up in bed and her eyes glowed the golden fire of magic as the flame leapt up and set the curtain on fire. A scream was ripped from Morgana’s throat and the window blew out with the force of her magic._

The scene changed before they could even process what they saw.

_Merlin was bent over a table in the physician’s chambers, blowing out candles when the door opened and Morgana walked in._

_”Is Gaius here?”_

It was painful for both King and Queen to see Morgana as she once was, a lively young woman with a good heart.

_”No, he’s not here at the moment, he should be back soon though.”_

_”I need to speak to him! Where is he? Morgana looked upset and anxious._

_”He’s gone to see the king.” Merlin answered. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he could clearly see how upset Morgana was._

_Morgana looked away and gave a shaky exhale._

_“You can trust me, Morgana, you know you can.”_

_At a loss for words, it seemed at first that she wouldn’t answer but then she did. “I’m scared, Merlin. I don’t understand anything anymore. I need to know what’s happening.”_

_Merlin clearly didn’t know what to say or how to respond._

_“Please.” She entreated._

_“Gaius will be back soon. He’ll help you.”_

_Morgana became upset then. “He won’t. I don’t want any more remedies! They won’t do any good.”_

_The two stared at each other for extended moments._

_”It’s magic, Merlin.”_

_”What?”_

_”I’m your friend. You know I wouldn’t make this up.”_

_”Of course.”_

_”Then you believe me? You think it’s magic too? Please, Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it, so I don’t have to keep feeling like I’m imagining it.”_

Both Arthur and Gwen stared at each other in shock. They couldn’t tell exactly when this happened but it was clearly before she had betrayed them all. Before her heart had hardened to what it was now. What shocked them though, was that Merlin had known about her magic, known since the beginning what she was capable of.

“Did you know?” Arthur wasn’t sure exactly what he was asking. Did Gwen know about the magic? Did Gwen know that Merlin had known? Did anyone know of all these secrets that they were now finding out?

No answer came as the scene had changed once again.

_Morgana had opened her door to find Merlin standing there with a vial in his hands._

_”Gaius asked me to deliver this.”_

_”I don’t need any potion, thank you.” Merlin looked down, he looked a bit upset. “Merlin, ignore what I said last night. I had a nightmare, I was upset.”_

_”I know. I haven’t said anything to anyone.”_

_Morgana looked upset and close to tears as she turned around. “I’m sorry, it’s usually Gwen who deals with me when I’m like this.”_

_”I don’t mind. Maybe I could help.”_

_”I doubt that.” Morgana said, upset again._

_”You’d be surprised.” Merlin answered and closed the door. Morgana turned around in surprise, knowing that it was not proper to close the door with just the two of them in the room._

_”I understand. I realize how frightening all this must be for you._ Especially _for you.”_

_”Why especially for me?”_

_”You’re the king’s ward. You know his hatred of magic better than anyone.”_

_”That’s what you think has been happening to me? The dreams, the fire. You think it was magic!”_

_”I’m not saying that” Merlin quickly disagreed._

_”But it could be, couldn’t it.”_

_”I wouldn’t know, but there are people who do.”_

_”Who?”_

_”What about the Druids? They help people like you.” Morgana looked both hopeful and despairing at the answer._

_”None of their kind would dare show their face in Camelot.”_

_”No.” Merlin agreed but then continued on. “But I know where you can find them.”_

Arthur and Gwen watched as the image faded and no other scene took its place. It wasn’t clear when exactly this took place but Arthur could hazard a guess. There was only one time that Morgana had disappeared from the castle with no explanation and then been found with the Druids.

“That idiot!”

The exclamation was more habit than anything else. He wasn’t really upset with Merlin, not truly. He had tried to help Morgana the only way he knew how but it had all been blown out of proportion.

“This was almost nine years ago, wasn’t it? That time that Morgana disappeared and was found with the druids?” Gwen seemed to have come to the same conclusion. “This was so long before she betrayed us! What happened to her? When did she turn her heart from us?”

“And just how many secrets has Merlin been keeping?” Arthur asked as he looked from the stone to his wife.

“His loyalty is commendable. He had known for so long about her magic and yet never told anyone.” Gwen praised and Arthur had to acknowledge that.

“Loyalty is one thing that I, nor anyone else, could ever doubt about Merlin. He has proven himself time and again. This stone is providing more questions than anything else. There are answers here, yes, but with every scene, I only have more and more questions.”

“We will find the answers together, Arthur. There was a reason you were given this gift.”

Arthur smiled at his wife but before he could answer, Merlin entered the room.

“Ah, Merlin. After bringing our supper, start preparing for a trip, I feel like hunting tomorrow.” Merlin gave the predictable frown at the order, it was well known that he despised hunting trips.

“Of course, sire. Just two horses?” Arthur confirmed the question and with a last quick bow, Merlin exited the chambers.

*********************************

Despite everything he had learned recently, Arthur couldn’t help but be frustrated as he and Merlin rode through the forest and he heard a sneeze behind him.

“You’re still angry with me, aren’t you?”

“We spend the entire day hunting, catch nothing, because every time we got anywhere near anything, you sneezed and frightened it away.”

“Not the last time.” Merlin answered.

“No, that time you fell into a stream. No one can accuse you of being predictable, Merlin.”

“I think I’m getting a cold.”

“Let’s hope it’s a bad one.” Answered Arthur, but there was no heat behind his words.

Their day of hunting was interrupted then and as the day progressed, Arthur once again felt the injustice of the world. How could this frail looking old woman, who had gifted him with something, even knowing who he was and who his father had been, practice magic and be inherently evil? Why did people feel the need to turn to magic? Was he not a good king? Did the people not feel safe? What need was there to turn to magic? What drove the people to choose that evil path?

***********************************

Merlin stood with the horses after Arthur spoke to his father and the ride home was done in silence. There were so many things that he had hoped to learn from his father, so many things that he had hoped Uther would be proud of. Turns out, he had been nothing but a disappointment. 

He had learned, over the years, to trust Merlin’s judgment, his instincts, so when his servant told him that his father’s ghost was responsible for the happenings around the castle, he gave only token protests. His father’s disappointment with his rule of the kingdom stung his heart and rang in his mind, providing even more proof of Merlin’s accusations.

When he found Merlin pinned to the wall, his father threatening his servant’s life, Arthur felt only sadness in his heart and no anger. His father had loved him and been proud of him before his death, Arthur knew that with certainty and he would cling to that now. Not to this ghost of his father who had become even more bitter in death.

The tears in Merlin’s eyes were unexpected but Arthur didn’t dwell on it as he helped his friend down from his pinned position.

Both made their way to the physician’s chambers and were delighted to see that Gwen had awakened, no worse for wear.

Arthur took her into his arms and escorted her to their shared chambers.

He told her what happened, told her of his desire to hear his father one more time and then of his grief when he learned how much of a disappointment he had turned out to be. She comforted him, told him that he was a great king, better than his father had been and that it was his turn now, not Uther’s. He had to remember that.

The somber atmosphere stayed with them but then Gwen suggested they look at the stone again.

“Maybe it will cheer you up?”

Gwen took the stone this time and gave it a turn before setting it down.

_”Hider eft funda on thysne middangeard…”_

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other. This was clearly an incantation of some kind. What did it mean? They were shocked when they saw Morgause.

_”Arthur Pendragon, a great destiny awaits you. The battle for your soul is about to begin.”_

It was clear that the incantation had been done over a crystal and the purpose was scrying. They could see that she was watching things unfurl in Camelot. Just how many times had people spied on them, on Camelot, in such a way?

The scene changed then to one that Arthur both cherished and hated with equal measure. Cherished because it showed his mother, hated because it had all been a lie.

_”Arthur. Arthur.”_

_”Mother.”_

_”My son. When I last held you, you were a tiny baby. I remember your eyes. You were staring up at me. Those few seconds I held you were the most precious of my life.”_

_”I’m so sorry.”_

_”You have nothing to be sorry for.”_

_”It was my birth that caused you to die.”_

_”No, you are not to blame.”_

_”I cannot bear the thought that you died because of me.”_

_”Do not think that.”_

_”It is your father who should carry the guilt for what happened.”_

_”What do you mean?”_

_”It is not important. What matters is that you lived.”_

_”Why should my father feel guilty?”_

_”It is better left in the past.”_

_”You cannot leave me with more questions. Please.”_

_”Your father… He was desperate for an heir. Without a son, the Pendragon dynasty would come to an end. But I could not conceive.”_

_”Then how was I born? Tell me.”_

_”Your father betrayed me. He went to the sorceress Nimueh and asked for her help in conceiving a child. You were born of magic.”_

Gentle fingers brushed against his cheek and Arthur looked to his side as Gwen wiped them away. She was clearly shocked at what the stone showed, Arthur had never revealed this to anyone or spoken of it again.

_”That’s not true.”_

_”I’m sorry, Arthur. Your father has deceived you as he deceived me. To create a life, a life must be taken. Your father knew that.”_

_”No.”_

_”He sacrificed my life so the Pendragon dynasty could continue. It makes you no less my son nor me any less proud of you. Now I see you, I would have given my life willingly. Do not let this knowledge change you.”_

Gwen squeezed his hand and they both watched as the scene changed.

_Gaius was entering his chambers with a surprised look on his face. Merlin looked a bit shell-shocked himself._

_”Is that Uther I saw just leaving?”_

_”Yeah. He just popped in to say hello.”_

_”Merlin. What did he want?”_

_”He wanted to thank me for being a trusted ally in the fight against magic.” The look on Merlin’s face was one of profound shock and surprise, as if he couldn’t believe what had just happened._

_”How you’ve managed to keep that head on your shoulders is a mystery beyond our greatest minds. Uther should be grateful. Your life would have been easier and safer if you had let him die. You must have been tempted.”_

_”Maybe for a moment, but Arthur wouldn’t have been able to forgive himself if he’d gone through with it. It would have destroyed him.”_

_”I’m proud of you, Merlin.”_

The scene ended there and Arthur could see the confusion on his wife’s face. 

“The scenes from the stone always seem to be connected so I guess this happened just after we returned from seeing my mother. I was enraged and confronted my father. We fought and I had my sword to his throat when Merlin came barging into the room. He convinced me that Morgause had only created an illusion, that it had not really been my mother. I would have killed my father that day, if not for Merlin.”

The confession was painful but Arthur knew it to be true.

“Now though, after watching it all again, I wonder if he had been the one lying? Could it have really been my mother I was talking to that day? Why would Merlin have lied though?”

“You said yourself that you would have killed Uther if Merlin had not interfered. Merlin himself confessed to Gaius that he was tempted to let you kill your father but that he stopped you because you would not have been able to forgive yourself afterwards. You know Merlin, whether it was the truth or not, he would have stopped you because no matter what your father had done, you would never have been able to forgive yourself if you had killed him.”

“So, was she telling the truth? Was I really born of magic?”

“We might never know, Arthur. What we do know, is that both your parents loved you and would have done anything for you. It does not matter how you were conceived Arthur, what matters is that you are here and you are a just and honourable king. Camelot is a better place because of you and your people love you.”

Arthur scooped her up in his arms, eliciting a squeal from Gwen and turned them to their bed.

**End Chapter 2**


	3. Secrets

**Chapter disclaimer:** Scenes taken from S02E09 and S02E12

**Secrets**

If anyone had told Arthur that Merlin was good at keeping secrets, he would have laughed until he cracked a rib. Now though, now he was starting to see just how many secrets his servant kept.

He consorted with sorcerers – yes, it was in order to save Arthur’s life, but still!

He saved Arthur’s life, pulling him, water-logged and heavy out of a lake and never said a word, never sought any credit.

He stopped Arthur from killing his own father by convincing him that what they had seen were lies – he still wasn’t sure what to believe!

He knew about Morgana’s magic. Knew long before anyone else did, long before she had attempted to take the throne the first time.

Merlin would apparently be safer with Uther dead than alive. Why?

Arthur had all these thoughts and questions running through his head but no answers.

“Here.” Arthur turned and saw that Guinevere was holding out a piece of parchment.

1\. He knew about Morgana before anyone else.  
2\. He stopped Arthur from committing patricide and regicide  
3\. …

“It might help to keep it all listed, make sure we don’t forget anything.”

“You are always so wise, Guinevere. What would I do without you?”

With a smile, both of them turned to the parchment as Arthur added the things he had just been turning over in his head.

“Well, should we add another to the list?” Arthur asked after jotting down his last note, pointing toward the stone.

“Let’s.”

With anxiety and anticipation churning inside him, Arthur picked up the stone, turned it and set it down again.

*****************************

_Merlin entered a dark passage with a torch and a cloth bundle. A girl in a tattered dress was sleeping on the ground._

_With a gentle touch to her shoulder and a softly spoken “Freya”, the girl woke in fright and pulled back._

_“It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s me, it’s Merlin. And look…” Merlin set the cloth bundle down and unwrapped it, revealing some bread, ham and cheese._

_The girl immediately started devouring it._

_Merlin set a candle on the ground._

_“It’s good.” Freya said._

_“Believe me, it’s fit for a prince.”_

The scene stopped abruptly but Arthur could only gape in astonishment.

“That little sneak!”

“Come now Arthur, there’s no reason to think that he stole that.” Gwen tried to reason.

“No reason? He just about confessed!” Arthur’s indignation brought a bright laugh from Gwen but the two’s attention was once again drawn to the stone as the new image formed.

_Once again, Merlin was walking down a dark passage with a torch. “I’m sorry I took so long.” He said as he rounded the corner and found Freya on the ground._

_Setting the torch down, Merlin moved towards her. “You must be hungry.” He held out a bundle and as she took it, Merlin could see she was upset. “What is it?”_

_“Nothing.”_

_“But you’re upset.”_

_“No.”_

_“Did you think I wasn’t coming? I promised you I would.”_

_”I scare most people away.” Freya answered._

_”I’m not most people.” Merlin said with a grin and they both chuckled._

_Merlin pulled out some candles again, “How long had you been in that cage?”_

_”A few days.”_

_”The bounty hunter…”_ Merlin leaded.

_”Halig.”_

Arthur vaguely remembered the name but could not quite place it.

_”How did he find you?”_

_Freya sniffed. “You can’t always trust people.”_

_“I know. That’s why I left home.” Merlin answered._

_“Where is home?”_

_”Ealdor.” Merlin answered. “It’s a small village. Just a few fields, a couple of cows. Nothing special.”_

_”My home was next to a lake, surrounded by the tallest mountains. In winter the storms whipped the water into waves and you thought they’d crash down and take away all the houses. But in the summer, wild flowers and light. It was like heaven.”_

_Merlin smiled “Sounds perfect.”_

_”It was.”_

_”Was?”_

_”My family died.”_

_Merlin looked sad. “Have you been on your own ever since?”_

_Freya nodded._

_”You’re not on your own anymore. I’m going to look after you. I promise.”_

_”You can’t look after me, no one can.”_

_Merlin reached for her hands as she set the food down. “I don’t think you understand. I’ve never known anyone like you.” Realising he was still holding her hand, Merlin went to pull back but she grabbed him again. “I wish I could stay.”_

_”You’re going?”_

_”We need to be careful. I’ll come back in the morning. You know I will be back, don’t you?”_

_Freya nodded with a smile and Merlin reluctantly got up._

_”Merlin?”_ Merlin turned around to face her after picking up his torch.

_”I’ve never known anyone like you, either.”_

_With a last smile and nod, Merlin left._

There was silence in their chambers, neither Arthur nor Gwen quite knowing what to say about that scene.

After a few seconds, Arthur found his voice. “I have never heard him so much as mention a love interest. At one stage I thought he had feelings for Morgana but no matter how many times I teased him, he never confirmed or denied it.”

“I’ve never heard anything either,” Gwen confirmed.

_Merlin entered the cavern that Freya stayed in and set his torch down. With a sly look back at her, Merlin proclaimed “Believe me, it was not easy, getting this.” He held up a dress, (one that Arthur thought looked vaguely familiar and one that Gwen immediately recognized from her days as Morgana’s servant)._

_”It’s beautiful.”_

_Merlin held it out to Freya who took it and held it against her frame._

_”You look like a princess.”_

_Freya smiled but then turned sad. “I’m not. I can’t take this.” She handed the dress back to Merlin._

For the first time, Arthur spied a druid symbol on her arm.

 _”Freya, I don’t understand.”_ Merlin said with a soft voice.

_”You keep doing all this for me, I don’t deserve it.”_

_”I want to. What’s wrong?”_

_”Nothing”_

_”Here. Please.” Merlin entreated and handed the dress back. “You’ll look wonderful in it.” Frey turned to him. “We can leave tonight, as soon as it gets dark. And we’ll be together.”_

_Freya looked thoughtful. “We’ll need supplies.” Merlin’s grin returned. “Food, water.”_

_”Alright.” Merlin said with a bright grin and a bounce in his step. “I’ll try to get horses and we’ll need blankets. But… That’s all we’ll need.”_

_”Go on, go.” Freya said with a smile._

_”I won’t be long.” Merlin promised and then leaned in and kissed her._

_”Goodbye, Merlin.” Freya said softly after Merlin had left._

Arthur felt something squeeze tight in his chest. He didn’t know when this was, when it had happened but he dearly, desperately, hoped that it was a long, long time ago. To think that Merlin would have packed up and left with a girl, even if he loved her, was just not something he was ready to face. Why not ask her to stay? Merlin knew that Arthur had promised safe passage to the druids after the incident with Elyan. Surely he would have asked her to stay, rather than go with her and away from Arthur, from Camelot.

Gwen’s arms wrapped around him.

“This was a long time ago Arthur. I recognize the dress. It was one of Morgana’s. This was about eight years ago. In a time when druids were hunted the same as sorcerers.”

Before Arthur could even exhale in relief at those words, the next scene had started.

_Rain splattered softly on a lake. Merlin came walking out of the woods with Freya in his arms. He looked up at the beautiful mountains in the distance as he went down to his knees and set her down on the ground. It was clear that she was hurt and Merlin had tears in his eyes. Freya slowly lifted her head and looked at the lake. “You remembered.”_

_Merlin smiled down at her. “Of course.” The look in his eyes was clear, there was no hope of saving her. “I’m so sorry for what that sorcerer did to you.”_

_”Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for.”_

_”There must be something I can do, some way to save you.”_

_”You’ve already saved me. You made me feel loved.”_

_Tears gathered in Merlin’s eyes as he realised she was saying goodbye. “I don’t want you to go.”_

_”One day, Merlin, I will repay you. I promise.”_

Arthur would forever deny the tears that rolled down his cheek as Merlin softly called out for Freya and she remained limp in his arms.

Gwen was sniffing softly next to him and he pulled her into his arms.

“I never knew. He was clearly in love and lost her before their dreams could come true but never said anything.” Arthur’s voice was soft and confused. Why had Merlin never told him? Sure, she was a druid but that didn’t matter, especially not now!

“There are many things we are finding out now, Arthur, most seem centered around Merlin. There must be a reason.”

“I just wish I knew what it was.”

***********************************

Merlin puttered around the room. Shifting a few things around, picking up a discarded piece of clothing here and there but never really cleaning the place. Arthur was so used to it that he didn’t even take notice anymore, not really.

“Have you ever been in love, Merlin?”

Arthur thought he saw a tiny waver in Merlin’s movements but decided to ignore it. He didn’t think he’d get an honest answer anyway so it didn’t matter.

“Once.” Merlin answered and Arthur stopped writing his speech.

Looking up, Arthur could see that Merlin was thinking of how to explain, where to begin.

“Her name was Freya. It was while your father was King, about two years after I came to Camelot.” Merlin seemed reluctant to say anything else so Arthur prompted him. “What happened?”

“She was a druid, found by a bounty hunter to be brought before the king.” Arthur already knew that much but could hardly tell Merlin that. “A sorcerer cursed her and she was shunned by everyone, even the druids.”

“How did you get to know her?” From what Arthur had seen, Merlin had been helping her, aiding a known fugitive and enemy to the crown. It was treason and would have seen him hanged had he been caught.

“She was hiding in the tunnels under the citadel. I took her food and supplies whenever I could, helped her to feel comfortable.”

“You could have been hanged.”

“She had done nothing wrong!” Merlin exploded passionately.

“It doesn’t matter what you think or feel, Merlin. Had you been caught, you would have been executed. Oh, don’t look so worried Merlin, that was a long time ago. I’m hardly going to hang you for helping someone eight years ago who would now be able to roam free.”

Merlin gave a sheepish smile and a soft “I know”.

“So, what happened?”

“The knights caught up with her and she was injured. I took her to a lake, she had mentioned growing up next to one, and she died in my arms.” The sad look in his eyes made Arthur turn away.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. As you said, it was a long time ago.”

“You know Merlin, there are many things I know for certain, about you, but there are just a many, maybe even more, that I am just starting to see. I believe that one day, I will fathom you out.”

Was it just Arthur’s imagination or did Merlin suddenly seem stiff and scared?

“Well, if there is nothing else?”

Yes, there was definitely something wrong here…

“That will be all, you can turn down the bed later and don’t worry about dinner, I’ll be dining with the council.”

********************************

“What do think it will be this time? Another love interest?” Arthur asked as Gwen picked up the stone and turned it around.

“Only one way to find out…”

_Morgana was hurrying down the castle steps in the dead of night and exiting through the city gates. She made her way through a forest and smiled as she turned around after hearing a sound behind her. Morgause came closer “You look well.”_

_”Thanks to you.” Morgana replied, indicating the bracelet she wore. “I wear it all the time. I can’t remember when I last had a bad dream.”_

_”But you do not seem happy. Why’s that?”_

_”I would be. If I didn’t have to pretend.” Morgana replied._

_”Pretend?”_

_”That I am Uther’s loving ward when I hate him.”_

_Morgause looked surprised and thoughtful at that confession. “Have you ever imagined a new world, Morgana? One where Uther was no more?”_

_”Sometimes.” Morgana confessed._

_”And it that what you’d like?”_

_”I once had the chance to be his assassin.”_

_”What stopped you?”_

_”I don’t know. I believe he cared for me. But not anymore. He cares for no one.”_

_”So you want Uther destroyed and his reign to end?”_ Morgause asked.

_”More than anything.” Morgana confessed but then realized “It doesn’t matter what I want, the future’s not of my making.”_

_”You are wrong, Morgana. You underestimate your importance. The decisions you make now will change the shape of everything that is to come.”_

_”What do you mean?”_

_”Whose side are you on, Morgana? Are you with Uther, or are you with me? Are you prepared to help me bring about his downfall?”_

_Morgana thought about it for only a few moments. “I am.”_

_”I can’t tell you how much it means to hear you say that.” Morgause placed a gentle hand on Morgana’s cheek and with a golden glow of her eyes, Morgana appeared to fall asleep. Morgause placed her gently on the ground and started incanting a spell._

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other, both very confused and worried. When was this? Just how long had Morgana deceived them, when had she tried to kill his father? There were no answers forthcoming.

_Merlin and Arthur entered Morgana’s chambers and found Guinevere on the floor, asleep, same as everyone else in the castle. Arthur picked her up and gently placed her on the bed. A sound drew their attention to the curtain and Arthur readied his sword in defense. As he pulled back the curtain, Morgana gave a scream of fright and Arthur quickly grabbed her. “It’s me! It’s me, Morgana! What’s happened?”_

_”I didn’t know it was you.”_

_”Calm down, Morgana. Just tell me what happened.”_

_”People were complaining, saying they were ill.”_

_”And what then?”_

_”They started falling asleep. Everyone. Everywhere I went.”_

_”Was someone here?” Morgana shook her head. “Then why were you hiding?”_

_”I told you. I didn’t know who you were.”_

_”Where’s my father?”_

_”I don’t know.”_

_”Arthur, she’s distressed!” Merlin tried to interfere._

_”She was awake, she must’ve seen something.”_

_”I didn’t see anything.”_

_”You saw people getting sick. What did you do?”_

_”What could I do?”_

_”Morgana, I don’t understand! Why is it that you’re the only person awake?”_

Arthur turned to Guinevere. She had a hand to her mouth and tears in her eyes. “That’s the day she disappeared. That’s the day Morgause took her.”  
 _”Unless we can rid ourselves of this sickness, then I don’t see how we’re going to hold out.” Arthur was clearly upset._

_”We have to destroy the source of the magic.” Merlin said._

_”Which is?” asked Arthur_

_Merlin looked a bit shifty but said “I don’t know.”_

_”Then our only chance is to get out of Camelot. Help me with my father.”_

_Arthur and Morgana dragged Uther across the room. “You’ll cut the blanket up, we’ll tie it to my father, and we’ll lower him onto the cart.” Merlin was standing in the background looking as if he was wrestling with some kind of mental problem._

_”Arthur?” Morgana called._

_”Morgana, please, just do as I say.” Arthur said and then grabbed Merlin by the arm. “I’ll fetch the cart round to the window.”_

_”You’re going out there?”_

_”I’ll come with you.”_

_”No! You stay, you protect my father.”_

_”You won’t reach the cart alone. It’s suicide.”_

_”I don’t have a choice.”_

_”How are you feeling?” Merlin asked, looking exhausted himself._

_”Not bad.”_

_”You sure?”_

_”Yeah. You?”_

_”Never better.”_

_”Get me a pillow, could you?”_

_”Don’t mess around. Arthur? You… Arthur, you need to stay awake.” Merlin pushed himself off the door and slapped Arthur in the face._

Guinevere gave a surprised gasp but Arthur just shook his head in remembrance.

_”Merlin!”_

_”That’s better.”_

_”If you ever do that again…”_

_”Well, don’t fall asleep, then!”_

Arthur poured some water over his face to wake himself up a bit and Merlin turned to the door as he heard a growling sound.

_”That you knees again?” Arthur asked and Merlin shook his head, too tired to smile. They both took the bar from the door and Merlin held it upright. “If I need a servant in the next life…”_

_“Don’t ask me.” Merlin answers and they both laugh. Arthur withdraws his sword and with a last nod he turns and opens the door. Merlin quickly places the bar back in place as the door closes._

_”He’s not going to survive out there.” Morgana said._

_”I know.” Merlin replies_

_”We’ve got to do something!_

_Merlin breathes heavily as he replies “I know.”_

_”Here. You tear this up. I’ll make some rope.” Morgana nods as Merlin turns around and pulls his waterskin out along with a vial that he empties into it. Turning around, Merlin looks at Morgana for a moment and she stares back with a frown._

_”Here, have some water.”_

_Morgana shakes her head. “I’m not thirsty.”_

_”If we get out of here, you may not get another chance to drink.”_

_”If we get out of here.”_

_They both hear Arthur outside, battling the knights and Merlin stands and hands the skin to Morgana. He turns back and picks it up, fakes taking a drink and then hands it back to her. “Here.”_

_”I’m fine.”_

_”No, you have some before I finish it.” Merlin looks so earnest and sincere that Morgana smiles and takes it. “Thank you.”_

By now, both Arthur and Gwen are gripping the other’s hand as tightly as they could. Arthur was beginning to understand what was going on. He would have to think it all through later, but he could already see what Merlin had deduced at the time. Morgana was the source of the magic.

_They both looked on as Morgana started coughing, Merlin standing with his back to her, tears gathering in his eyes. Morgana started gasping for breath, clearly struggling and looked toward the waterskin, realizing what was happening. Merlin wiped a tear from his cheek and turned to face Morgana. There was a clear question in Morgana’s eyes and Merlin looked at her, nodding in answer. Morgana gasped again and Merlin knelt before her, reaching out but she slapped at him. Morgana lost her fight and Merlin pulled her to him, clearly distraught at what he had done but also knowing that it was necessary. A snippet of Morgause was seen then and it was clear that she could feel what Morgana felt, could feel that the source of her spell was dying._

_The door blasted open and Morgause rushed in, Merlin facing her without fear but releasing his hold on Morgana to her. “What has he done to you?” Morgause asked._

_Merlin exhales harshly. “I had to.”_

_”You poisoned her.”_

_”You gave me no choice.” Merlin said as he stood up, looking her squarely in the face._

_”Tell me what you used and I can save her.”_

_”First stop the attack.” Merlin demanded._

_”You’re nothing but a simple servant, don’t tell me what to do.”_

_”If you want to know what poison it is, you will undo the magic that drives the knights.” Merlin was uncompromising._

_”Tell me the poison or you’ll die.”_

_”Then she’ll die with me.”_

_Morgause looked surprised that a servant would stand up to her like that, and be willing to die for such a cause (and frankly, Arthur would have been just as surprised had it been anyone but Merlin)._

_”I don’t want this any more than you. But you give me no choice. Stop the Knights and you can save her.”_

_Merlin watched as she started chanting, only giving her the bottle of Hemlock after the sounds of fighting had stopped outside._

Arthur remembered what had happened then but still continued to watch as the image of him burst in and demanded to know what she had done with his father.

It had never made sense to Arthur, that Morgause would have just stopped her Knights and flee the castle while she clearly had the upper hand. Now he realized that it was, in fact, Merlin who had turned the tide, Merlin who had realized what was going on and done the only thing he could to stop her, to protect Camelot.

“Arthur.” Arthur turned to Gwen, knowing that she was just as shocked as he was. There were so many things that he had never known, so many things that Merlin had never even spoken of. Just how many times had Merlin known what was going on while everyone else had remained oblivious? Just how many times had Merlin changed the tide and saved Camelot?

“These are the types of decisions Kings and Queens make. The guilt he must have suffered, the weight of his choices. How had he managed to continue? How does he do the things he does, and still continue on, day after day?”

There were more thoughts and questions bubbling in his mind but Arthur could not voice them, not yet. He had to think.

**End Chapter 3**


	4. Humility

**Chapter Disclaimer:** Scenes from S02E13, S03E01, S03E02

**Humility**

Arthur and Gwen spoke long into the night. Morgana’s betrayal had never lost its sting but they now understood better what drove the hatred between her and Merlin. It had always puzzled Arthur, the hostility he could sense between the two, deeper even than what lay between them as brother and sister.

“She had turned to Morgause before her kidnapping, turned against our father long before any of us suspected.” Arthur’s voice was pained and Guinevere wrapped her arms around him.

“I don’t know what drove her to Morgause, or what completely cemented her hatred for Uther, but try not to think of that Arthur, remember her as the loving friend and sister she once was. What she has become now is not what I want to remember her as.”

“What about Merlin? There are so many things that I want to ask him but how can I do that without explaining all we have seen? I don’t think he would want us to know some of the intimate details we were privy to while watching those scenes. Why did he never tell anyone of Morgana’s magic? How could he have gone to that witch and offer up his life to save mine? His life is worth more than that! What was he thinking? How could… I just….” Arthur stopped and took a deep breath.

“I just wish I understood why he does what he does. How he lives the humble life of a servant while secretly thwarting nefarious plans from enemies of Camelot…”

“I’m sure that when we have finished all the memories stored in the stone, we will have a better explanation for his actions. If not, you can always ask Gaius, I’m certain he knows most of what Merlin has done. If all fails, we can try to locate that creature again and ask for explanations. Surely the one who gave you this gift has the answers as well…”

“Then I guess we should continue watching.”

_Merlin and Gaius were in the Physician’s chambers, Merlin busy packing something away. “Who were the Dragonlords?” he asked while his hands kept busy._

_When no answer immediately came, Merlin looked at Gaius to see him standing with his back to him. “Gaius?” he prompted._

_Gaius slowly turned around and contemplated the answer. ”There were once men who could talk to the dragons, tame them.”_

_”What happened to them?”_

_”Uther believed that the art of the Dragonlord was too close to magic, so he had them all rounded up and slaughtered.”_

_Merlin didn’t look surprised, only saddened. “But one survived.” He stated. “How did you know?”_

_”I helped him escape.”_

_”Gaius!” Merlin snorts._

_Gaius slowly draws nearer to Merlin. “Merlin, you’ve never heard the name Balinor?” he asked._

_Merlin thinks a moment. “No.”_

_”Your mother never mentioned him?”_

_”My mother?” Merlin asked, surprised._

_”She took him in.”_

_”She stood up against Uther?”_

_”Yes. Yes.”_

_”She was brave.”_ Merlin stated.

_”Yes. When Uther discovered where Balinor was, he sent knights to Ealdor to hunt him down. He was forced to flee.”_

_”Why didn’t my mother tell me any of this?” Merlin asked plaintively._

_”Merlin, I promised her I would never speak of these things.”_

_”Of what?”_

_”I’ve always treated you as my son,” Merlin nodded in agreement “but that is not what you are. The man you are going to look for is your father.”_

_The shock was clear on Merlin’s face as he took a step back. “My father?” he asked._

_”Yes.” Gaius confirmed_

_”He was a Dragonlord?” Merlin asked, shock turning to confused anger. “Why did no one ever tell me?”_

_”I wanted to. Your mother feared it would be too dangerous.”_

_”I had a right to know.”_

_”She wanted to protect you.”_

_”No.” Merlin shook his head. “I had a right to know.”_

Arthur stood in stunned silence as the scene ended. “He never told me.” Guinevere squeezed his hand. “Are you really surprised? Your father had slaughtered all the Dragonlords, all except Balinor, Merlin would have been viewed with the same suspicion and hatred if the truth came out.”

Arthur couldn’t argue with that. “And now? My father’s been dead for almost four years, he could have told me.”

“I don’t know.” Gwen answered and both were silenced as the next scene started.

_”Are you Balinor?” Merlin asked. The man didn’t answer, going back to his food. Merlin looked upset and leaned forward. “The Great Dragon is attacking Camelot.”_

_”His name is Kilgharrah.”_

_”We can’t stop him. Only you, a Dragonlord, can.”_

_The man didn’t look moved. “He does not act blindly. He kills for a reason, vengeance. This is of Uther’s making.”_

_”He’s killing innocent people. Woman and children.” Merlin entreated_

_”Uther pursued me! He hunted me like an animal!”_

_”I know.”_

_”What do you know about anybody’s life, boy?” The man stood up, clearly in a rage. “Uther asked me to use my power to bring the last dragon to Camelot. He said he wanted to make peace with it, but he did not. He lied to me. He betrayed me. You want me to protect this man?”_

_”I want you to protect Camelot.”_

_”He killed every one of my kind, I alone escaped.”_

_”Where did you go?”_

_”There is a place called Ealdor.”_

_”Yes.” Merlin looked as if he wanted to say more but he hesitated._

_”I had a life there. A woman. A good woman.” Merlin nodded, not speaking. “Ealdor is beyond Uther’s realm, but still he pursued me. Why would he not let me be? What was it that I had done, that he wanted to destroy the life I’d built, abandon the woman I loved? He sent knights to kill me. I was forced to come here, to this. So… I understand how Kilgharrah feels. He’s lost every one of his kind, everyone of his kin. You want to know how that feels? Look around, boy. Let Uther die. Let Camelot fall.”_

_Merlin looked lost and upset. “You want everyone in Camelot to die?”_

_”Why should I care?”_

_”What if one of them was your son?”_

_”I don’t have a son.”_

_”And if I told you…” Merlin was interrupted by Arthur calling his name, the moment between him and Balinor broken._

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other, neither knowing what to say. To hear the anger and resentment in Balinor’s voice, to know that his father was responsible for the suffering he went through and the cause of the separation between him and Merlin, was a lot to take in.

_Balinor was carving something from wood. Merlin sat across the fire from him. “Why did you never return?”_

_”I thought her life would be better without me.”_

_”Why?” Merlin asked with a shake of his head._

_”Uther wanted me dead. If he’d found me, he’d have killed me and your mother. I wanted her to be safe.”_

_”We could have come with you.”_

_Balinor gave a bitter smile. “What kind of life would you have had here?”_

_”We’d have been happy.” Merlin smiled a bit. “When we’ve finished in Camelot, I will take you to Ealdor._

_”She won’t recognize me.” Balinor said with a sad smile. “I see her in you.”_

_”Yeah?” Merlin asked._

_”You have her kindness.”_

_”How did you become a Dragonlord?” Merlin asked_

_”You don’t choose to become a Dragonlord. It’s not something you’re taught. It’s a sacred gift. For thousands of years it’s been handed down from father to son. And that is what you must now become, Merlin.”_

_”I would like that.” Merlin said._

_”Like all Dragonlords, you won’t know for sure that you have that power until you face your first dragon.” Merlin looked unsettled. They’d already faced the dragon, more than once, he had not had any power to command him._

_”You should get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us.” Balinor said as he stood up and moved to his bedroll. “Good night, son.” Merlin’s face broke into a smile. “Sleep well, Father.”_

The next scene started almost immediately, not leaving a moment for thought to be processed.

_The knights were all holding in formation, Merlin standing among them. “Hold firm” Arthur said. The Great Dragon flew down from the sky, “Hold!” Arthur commanded. “Hold!” The horses became restless but held at their rider’s commands. “Hold!”, “Now!” the knights moved to form a circle around the dragon but it swiped its tail to unhorse them and breathed fire on those in front of it._

_”No. Stop!” Merlin said desperately. The dragon turned to face Arthur and Merlin, Arthur picking up a spear. The dragon looked down at Arthur, for a few moments just staring at him before breathing out burst of fire. Arthur rolled out of the way and Merlin fell backwards. Arthur got back to his feet and speared the dragon on his left side, where the heart should be. The dragon roared in pain and swiped Arthur to the side, knocking him unconscious._

_Merlin lay panting on the ground but slowly he sat up._ Both Arthur and Guinevere could hear the voice of Balinor, as if speaking from all around them, or maybe just inside Merlin’s head, they couldn’t be sure. _You’re the last Dragonlord now. You alone carry the ancient gift. Deep within yourself, you must find the voice that you and Kilgharrah share, for your soul and his are brothers. When you speak to him as kin, he must obey your will._

The roaring voice that came from Merlin was unlike any Arthur or Gwen had ever heard. They could not understand the words but they could see the effect it had on the dragon as it was forced down from its rage, almost into a subservient bow.

_Merlin picked up the spear as the dragon sat tamely in front of him. ”I am the last of my kind, Merlin. Whatever wrongs I have done, do not make me responsible for the death of my noble breed.” Merlin pushed the spear upwards, almost as if wanting to kill the dragon but clearly not within striking distance, merely a warning. The dragon reared back, as if expecting a deathly blow._

_Merlin’s eyes filled with tears as he faced the dragon. Kilgharrah looking at him with confusion. “Go! Leave! If you ever attack Camelot again, I will kill you.” Merlin shouted passionately. The dragon bowed his head in acknowledgement. “I have shown you mercy, now you must do the same to others.”_

The scene ended there, both Arthur and Gwen looking at the spot where Merlin’s image had been just a moment before. “He let it go. After all it had done, he let it go.” Shock, anger, astonishment and even pride filled Arthur as all they had seen registered in his mind.

“Being in command of such a beast… Most people would use it to their advantage…” Arthur shook his head, not wanting to continue that train of thought. He felt humbled by what he had just seen. He doubted that if he had been the Dragonlord, he would have pardoned the dragon, let it escape. It was clear that the dragon had obeyed Merlin’s order, never had there been any news of the Great Dragon attacking anyone again, not even in the other kingdoms. Killing the dragon was clearly not necessary but after all the destruction it had wrought, Arthur did not know if he could have found it within himself to spare the dragon.

***************************************

The next day, Arthur kept looking at Merlin, as if expecting him to suddenly look different, act different. It clearly unnerved Merlin, if his frowns and uncertain smiles were anything to go by, but Arthur just could not stop.

“What?” Merlin finally asked, after the eighth time he caught Arthur looking at him.

“Nothing. Just trying to figure something out.”

“What’s that?”

“Does anyone know the real Merlin?”

Merlin looked so surprised, then panicked, that Arthur had to laugh.

“Oh come on, Merlin! You’re supposed to be an open book, don’t now act like you’re interesting or important, we both know you’re not.”

Merlin gave a hesitant smile and after a minute, he went back to making the bed and fluffing the pillows.

Arthur told himself that he would have to reign in his emotions and reactions to all these things he was learning about Merlin. Clearly the man would panic if even one of these secrets were revealed to Arthur, never mind all of them together. Merlin had gone to great lengths to keep these things hidden.

*********************************

Geoffrey handed the rolls over to Arthur with some hesitation. It was clear that he wanted to know what the King was looking for, what he wanted these documents on Dragonlords for but Arthur just thanked him politely and took the scrolls.

“I’ll hand them back to you tomorrow, Geoffrey, not a mark on them, they’re in excellent hands.” With a last bow, the nobleman left.

Guinevere stepped up to the table and took the first scroll, opening it up and reading it carefully.

“It says that Dragonlords were once viewed with awe and reverence. They weren’t all of nobility, some were from the common folk but they were viewed with the same reverence, no matter their lineage.”

“This one mentions what Balinor told Merlin, that the gift is ancient and handed down from father to son.”

“This scroll says that some Dragonlords possess magic other than that of a Dragonlord, like healing magic, or hedge wizardry.” Gwen’s voice was almost questioning, looking at Arthur. They looked at each other for a moment before both laughing. No, that was just plain ridiculous. “I wonder if Merlin knows that some Dragonlords possessed magic, he might just faint at the knowledge.” Arthur said with a grin but then grunted when Guinevere elbowed him in the ribs. “Be nice!”

“Enough of this, I want to look at another memory.” Arthur was almost bouncing in anticipation, what would the stone reveal next?

_Arthur and Merlin were exiting Morgana’s chambers when she called out to Merlin. “I want to speak to you.” Merlin hesitated a bit, looking at the door and then back to her. “I know what you did. You tried to poison me.”_

_”I didn’t want to.” Merlin said, voice wavering._

_”It’s alright, Merlin, I understand. You were just trying to protect your friends. I would’ve done the same.”_

_”Really?”_

_”I was so naïve, Merlin. I don’t think I really understood what I was doing. But believe me, I have seen the evils in this world. I have seen first hand what it is that Uther fights against. You don’t know how much I regret everything that I’ve done. I just… hope that you can forgive me.”_

_”I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through.” Merlin said earnestly. “It’s good to have you back.” Morgana gave a tearful smile in response._

The scene immediately changed, no pause in between.

_Merlin was in Uther’s chambers, pulling the blankets up over him when he heard a dripping sound. Looking down, he saw a strange dark substance on the floor, almost like mud. Footsteps in the corridor had him ducking under the bed where his face connected with a smack against something wet and dripping. Pulling his legs under the bed, Merlin cringed back as a hand grabbed the thing that had smacked his face and then watched as Morgana made her way out of the chambers. Suspicion filling him, he followed her out of the castle. At one stage, she looked back and Merlin paused, putting his back against the wall. He continued his pursuit of her into the forest._

_Merlin looked on as Morgana stood in a small clearing, waiting for someone or something. Moments later, horses approached and he watched as Morgause dismounted one and came down to meet Morgana._

_”Sorry you had to wait. There was much to discuss.” Morgause said as greeting._

_”But your visit was successful?”_

_”Cenred’s army ride for Camelot on my command.” Morgause answered._

_”There’s nothing you can not do.” Morgana said in delight._

_”It is you that gives me strength, sister. How goes the battle for Uther’s mind?”_

_”When Cenred marches on Camelot, you will find a kingdom without a leader.”_

_Merlin moved closer to hear better. “Finally, we are ready.” Morgause announced._

_”Not quite.” Morgana said. “Merlin suspects me.”_

_”Has he told Arthur?”_

_”Not yet, but he will.”_

_”Well then, we must stop him.”_

_”That will not be difficult.” Morgana said._

_”Why?”_

_”Because he’s already here.” Morgana said, a bit louder and directly in the direction Merlin was hiding._

_Merlin jumps up from his hiding place in surprise._

_”Did you really think I was that stupid, Merlin?” Morgana asked mockingly._

_Merlin finally seemed to realize that he was in trouble and bolted up the hill. Morgause ordered her henchmen to go after him and the chase began. Merlin made a valiant effort to get away but was caught._

The scene changed again…

_Merlin was on the ground, bound by chains and two men grabbed him to sit him upright. “You intrigue me, Merlin.” Morgause said. “Why does a lowly servant continue to risk everything for Arthur and for Camelot?” Merlin looked around him, not wanting to answer._

_”You know the answer but you’re not telling me. Why?” Merlin stubbornly stayed silent. “Come on, time and again, you’ve put your life on the line. There must be a reason.”_

_”I believe in a fair and just land.”_

_”And do you think Arthur will give you that?”_

_”I know it.” Merlin answered with conviction._

_”And then what? You think you’ll be recognized, Merlin? Is that it? All this so one day you can be a serving boy to the King?” Merlin didn’t answer, looking away. “No” Morgause realised, “There’s something more. There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?”_

_”I’ve told you.”_

_”Well, you can take your secret to your grave.” Morgause proclaimed. Merlin started at her defiantly, not giving her the satisfaction of a reaction. She incanted something and the chains around him tightened and glowed._

_”You chose to poison one of my own. You may regret that.” Only when they started walking away did Merlin allow his worry to show._

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other in surprise. “Did you know he had been captured?” Gwen asked as the scene faded away. Arthur numbly shook his head, trying to remember exactly when this happened.

The next scene started, pulling their attention away from their thoughts.

_Merlin was lying in a cave of some sort, night had fallen by then. He looked up as he awoke and saw the dragon in front of him. “I didn’t think you’d answer my call.”_

_”Merlin, I could not resist a Dragonlord even if I wanted to.”_

_”I’m grateful. Thank you.” Merlin groaned as he tried to sit up._

_”Lie still.”_

_”Ow. My head.”_

_”The serket’s poison is powerful. I have given you an enchantment that will help you heal, but it will take time._

Gwen’s gasp echoed his own. Serkets were feared all through the kingdom. It was one of the most painful ways to die and only a few ever survived. Merlin obviously had, and from what the dragon said, it was due to a healing spell from him, and despite the fact that magic had been used, Arthur could not help but be grateful to the beast.

_Merlin was rushing into the physician’s chambers. He went to a sleeping Gaius and shook his shoulder. “You need to wake up.”_

_”Merlin.” Gaius said with relief. “Where have you been?”_

_”I don’t’ have time to explain.” Merlin said as he helped Gaius put his jacket on._

_”Are you all right?”_

_”Morgana is in league with Morgause. She’s plotting against Uther.”_

_”What?”_

_”She’s responsible for his visions. Come on, hurry up. There’s something I need to show you.” Gaius and Merlin made their way to Uther’s chambers. They looked around in surprise when they entered, the King wasn’t on his bed. Looking around, they found him curled up against a wall by the window. “Uther” Gaius called softly. “Uther.” The King whimpered and grappled at Gaius, looking over his shoulder at something that only he could see. He whimpered more and more, Merlin looking on for a moment before rushing to the bed and grabbing the thing hanging under it. He went to the fire and threw it in, recoiling from the shriek the thing emitted._

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. He remembered now. He had been furious with Merlin for spending two days in the Tavern. Now it looked like he would have to apologize, again!

_Merlin threw open the curtains. “What happened?” He exclaimed as he took in the state of Arthur’s room._

_”What happened? I had to make do without a servant, that’s what happened.”_

_”I wasn’t gone for that long.” Merlin protested_

_”Without my permission.”_

_”What if I was dying?” Merlin asked._

_”I wouldn’t be complaining. But you’re not, so where’ve you been?”_

_”I was dying.” Merlin said honestly._

_”I don’t have time for this. The future of the kingdom rests upon my shoulders. Do you have any idea what that feels like?”_

_Merlin gave an ironic smile “Well…”_

_”Merlin.” Arthur held up a finger to stop him. “I should have you thrown in the dungeon, so what have you got to say for yourself?”_

_Merlin gave a small shake of his head before cheekily saying “You’re not had your breakfast this morning, have you?”_

_An affronted Arthur stood up and scanned around for something to throw. “I’ll have you for breakfast!” He exclaimed as he picked something up and threw it at Merlin who dodged._

_”Oh, no wonder this place is such a mess.” Arthur threw another thing at Merlin. “Oh yes, I can see you’ve got all the makings of a great king.” With one last mocking bow, Merlin looked up in time to see the next projectile flying at him and he quickly made his exit._

Arthur couldn’t look at Gwen, knowing she would be stifling her laughter and rather embarrassed at his own behaviour.

Desperately wanting to change the subject, Arthur asked the question that had been on his mind since the second scene had started.

“How exactly was the army defeated? Morgana had claimed victory over the battle but that was obviously not true. She had been the one to start the whole thing, or at least, help Morgause.”

“I guess we’ll find out, another scene is starting…” was Gwen’s answer.

_The citadel was burning, flames burning in various places but night had given way to day and the enemy had retreated. Uther stood in front of his throne as the people entered the throne room and neared him. Merlin and Arthur approached but Merlin tried to slow them down. “Sire. I need to tell you something about Morgana.”_

_”It’s all right. We know what happened.”_

_”You do?” Merlin asked in surprise, halting before the throne, not wanting to overstep his place in front of the king._

_”In my time, we’ve won many battles, but none so important as this. Every man, every woman and child has performed their heroic best. I thank you and I salute you all. Even before the battle, we knew there was a traitor in our midst, one who was almost the undoing of us.” Merlin and Gaius looked at each other, wondering if the truth had been found, wondering if they knew it was Morgana who had betrayed them all. “However we have to thank the one person who outwitted them and who almost singlehandedly turned the battle—The Lady Morgana.” The shock and disappointment on Merlin’s face was clear if you looked for it, something that no one in attendance did. “For it was she, who bravely entered the vault, found the magical vessel and destroyed it.” Gaius looked at Merlin, the only one there knowing the actual truth. “We must be vigilant. We must stand firm against the dark forces of magic, and ensure that they never penetrate our walls again.” The look passing between Morgana and Merlin was clear to see. I’ve won this round. What can you do now, Merlin? What is your word as a servant, against that of the king’s ward?_

“That doesn’t explain anything!” Arthur said in disgust. Well, at least he now remembered that Merlin had tried to tell him, tried to warn him about Morgana. It was just unfortunate that she had already claimed her triumph over the army. Arthur knew that there was no way his father, or even he, would have believed Merlin’s version of the truth after Morgana had already told them her side.

“It explains one thing, Arthur. Whatever Morgana did, however many times she tried to harm us, harm Camelot, Merlin had interfered. Merlin had stopped her.”

The awe in Gwen’s voice was clear to hear. Merlin had done this, done all the things they had seen so far, and never been recognised as the hero. The one time that Uther had seen and acknowledged what he had done, Merlin had been assigned as Arthur’s servant. Arthur knew that not much more could have been granted, maybe some gold in payment to services to the throne, but that was all.

As a peasant, Merlin could only be elevated so high in the order of things. He was not a swordsman, could not be knighted as his friends had been. The truths they were finding out now, though, they humbled Arthur as nothing ever had. Merlin, a Dragonlord – one in command of The Great Dragon himself, helped them, saved them, time and again and he never asked for anything. Never even mentioned that he was the one to save them.

“What am I going to do? What can I do?” Arthur asked his wife. “He deserves recognition, deserves the same honor a knight receives, and yet, what can I actually do? He is not a swordsman, not a nobleman by birth, nothing but a servant.”

“I am not sure that he would want anything, Arthur. You know Merlin as well as any man could. You know he always accompanies you wherever you go and is happier for it. Which other servant accompanies knights on missions? Which other servant stubbornly insists on following their master into danger? This is who Merlin is. This is what he does. He would not want to be anywhere but at your side.” Guinevere pulled his face down to hers and gave him a soft kiss. “I always feel better knowing that he is at your side, knowing that he would protect you with his life. I’ve known that for years and the surety of that knowledge has only increased since we started watching these memories.”

Arthur had to acknowledge the wisdom of his wife. She was right, he could not think that Merlin would want any type of promotion, even if such a thing was possible.

“I still want to acknowledge what he has done, even if it is just in words.”

“Then do so, but be sure you don’t frighten him with the knowledge, you know how he is about his secrets.”

Arthur’s face morphed into a smile, a spark of mischief in his eyes.

**End Chapter 4**


	5. Explanations

Two chapter in one day, I can't seem to stop :D

 **Chapter Disclaimer:** Scenes from S03E08 and S03E10

**Explanations**

“Something is going on, Gaius! I know it.” Merlin paced up and down in their chambers. “He’s been acting odd for a few weeks now. Even Gwen has been giving me strange looks! It’s that stone. It has to be. The Diamair gave it to him. The Diamair is the key to all knowledge. What exactly is that stone showing them? What if they find out?” 

Gaius placed a calming hand on his arm to stop his pacing. “You can’t know that for certain, Merlin. Keep calm and do what you do best, investigate. See if you can find out where that stone is, if they have placed it in the vaults as I suggested. There is no need to worry, not yet.”

Merlin didn’t look reassured at all but he got a determined gleam in his eyes. He would do as Gaius suggested, he would spy on Arthur, see what he could find out. “Alright, I’ll go spy a bit, see what he’s hiding.”

“Merlin! That’s not what I meant!” Gaius protested but Merlin either didn’t hear him or just didn’t listen, exiting their chambers with a determined air.

Making his way through the citadel, Merlin thought up excuses for his being in the King’s chambers at a time he should have been settling down for the night. By the time he reached the King and Queen’s chambers, no excuse had risen in his mind but it did not stop him, when had it ever stopped him?

For once not barging in, Merlin softly opened the door and slipped inside. He expected Arthur and Gwen to be settling down for the night – for the first time the thought entered his mind that he might have seen more than he ever wanted to – but they were sitting at the desk, talking softly to each other. Merlin couldn’t take the chance of them seeing him so he was forced to stay on the other side of the room, frustrated that he could not hear what they were talking about.

After about ten minutes of standing there in the darkened corner of the room, Merlin finally saw Gwen standing up, her hand reaching toward the stone lying innocuously on the desk.

“Are you ready to see more?” She asked and Arthur took a deep breath before nodding.

Merlin stood in stunned silence as the scene played out before him.

_Gwen and Morgana were in the market place, laughing as they tried a few shawls and scarfs. Someone grabbed Morgana’s arm. “Help me please. Please, just spare me a few minutes of your time, sister.” Morgana looked affronted at first but when the old lady spoke and she heard her call her ‘sister’, she looked deep into her eyes, realising who this was. Nodding her head, she followed the old lady, Gwen calling worriedly after her. “My lady?”_

_”It’s all right, Gwen. I won’t be a moment.” Gwen reluctantly stayed put, watching as Morgana and the old woman walked down the street. “We must be quick, sister. This enchantment will not hold for long. Tell me, what has Arthur chosen as his quest?”_

_”He sets out tomorrow for the Perilous Lands.”_

_”How perfect. Present this to the prince as a token of your good wishes. When the time is right, you must make a likeness of the prince and bind it to the gift using the skills that I taught you. When he does not return, you, sister, will take your rightful place as sole heir to the throne of Camelot.” Morgana nodded and the old lady returned to the market place, Morgana waiting a bit before following her._

_Gwen was wrapping another piece of fabric around her shoulders as the old lady walked past but as she looked up, the reflection in the mirror was that of Morgause, not an old lady. Gwen gasped and looked around but the old lady had walked on and when she looked back, it was the face of an old woman. She must have imagined it. “My lady. Are you all right?” She asked as she saw Morgana behind her._

_”Why wouldn’t I be?_

_”I.. I thought..” Gwen was at a loss for words._

_”The poor woman didn’t have a penny to feed her family. I felt duty-bound to help her, Gwen.” Gwen still looked uncertain. Was she imagining things or had that really been Morgause?_

Merlin could only look on in shocked surprise as Arthur and Gwen merely watched the scene, not looking surprised in the least.

The scene changed then…

_Arthur mounted his horse, Merlin standing in front and nodding at Arthur, without words wishing him a safe journey. Merlin’s attention was suddenly pulled to the bracelet on Arthur’s wrist, some unexplainable force drawing his attention to it. “Beautiful, isn’t it? It was a gift from Morgana.” Arthur took off on his journey, Merlin standing still, looking unsure and worried._

_”I’m not sure I know where else to look, Merlin.” Gaius said. Merlin was looking up at the bookshelf in the physician’s quarters, also looking for something. “There has to be something.”_

_”We’ve examined every stone imaginable. Unless…” Gaius interrupted himself, Merlin still looking for a book that might prove useful._

_Gaius approached the shelf Merlin was examining and plucked a book from the bottom part. Paging through it, he held the book up. “Merlin.”_

_”Gaius, that’s it!”_

_”That is not a stone, Merlin. It’s an eye of the phoenix.”_

_”The phoenix?”_

_Gaius nodded. “Some call it the firebird. Its eye burns with a fire that consumes the life force of anybody it comes in contact with.”_

_”Arthur.” Merlin exclaims_

_Gaius nods. “The eye will draw energy from him. If it’s worn for too long, Arthur will die.”_

_”I have to go after him.”_

_”This is not a task to be undertaken lightly, Merlin. You’ll need help.”_

“That’s why the idiot followed me!” Arthur exclaims and Merlin only just manages to stop himself from jumping in fright. He had forgotten that Arthur and Gwen were watching this as well.

Gwen gave Arthur a sly smile. “Are you telling me that you did not do this quest alone and unaided?”

Arthur’s cheeks became a rosy hue but before he was forced to explain himself, the scene had changed.

_Merlin and Gwaine stood on top of a cliff. “There it is.” Merlin said. “What’s that in the sky?” Gwaine asked._

_Both look on, trying to figure out what it was. “They’re not birds.” Gwaine said “I’ve never seen creatures like that.” They heard the roaring screech of the creatures. “Looks like they’re hunting something.”_

_”What was that?” Merlin asked as they saw a glint of something on the ground. “A sword.” Gwaine answered._

_”It’s Arthur.” Merlin said, looking for the nearest way down._

_Merlin and Gwaine were suddenly at the entrance to the ruins, looking up at the creatures. “I should have known.” Gwaine said. “What are they?” asked Merlin. “Wyverns.. Distant cousins of the dragon. They’re creatures of magic, so be careful.”_

“Cousins of the dragon?” Arthur asked, looking at Gwen with a knowing smile that Merlin couldn’t interpret.

The scene changed then and Merlin could only look on in horror as one of his most well kept secrets was revealed to his two best friends.

_There was banging on the door, Arthur trying and failing to hold his sword up in defense. They watched as Arthur slowly lost his battle against fatigue, the bracelet on his wrist glowing ominously. Two wyverns entered the room but suddenly Merlin was at the top of the stairs on the other side. He looked around and found Arthur on the floor, the two wyverns approaching their prey. Merlin placed himself in front of Arthur and fearlessly commanded the wyverns in the Dragon tongue. The words foreign but the result undeniable as the wyverns submitted to his command and turned around, exiting the room without harming the prince._

Merlin could only stand there and watch as the scene continued, the image of himself kneeling beside Arthur and removing the bracelet from the prince. Arthur awoke almost immediately and Merlin shook his head as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. That dollophead!

King and Queen continue to watch as Gwaine entered and killed the wyvern before Merlin was forced to reveal his powers to him.

“The idiot was lucky that Gwaine appeared then. I don’t think I would have reacted well to learning he was a Dragonlord, not then.”

Merlin’s gasp was audible and Arthur turned around in surprise. Both looked at each other with shock and guilt, trying to explain their actions at the same time. “Arthur, you have to believe…”

“Merlin! We were just…”

They fall silent, eyeing each other and trying to figure out how much the other knew. Merlin was the first to find his voice. “I’m so sorry!”

“Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Gwen interfered, beckoning him closer.

“We,” she gestured between herself and Arthur, “have been watching the memories in the stone that the creature gifted Arthur with.”

Merlin looked at a loss for words, his face paling and hands shaking.

“Here. This is a list of things we’ve surmised thus far, it will be easier to just read this, rather than us telling you all we’ve seen.”

With shaking legs, Merlin crossed the floor to Gwen and took the parchment.

1\. He knew about Morgana before anyone else.  
2\. He stopped Arthur from committing patricide and regicide – still not sure about the truth of that whole situation…  
3\. He consorted with a sorceress to save Arthur’s life from the questing beast’s venom.  
4\. He did not fall asleep, letting the horses escape – that was Cedric (this one seemed rather pointless to Merlin but it was here, all the same)  
5\. He poisoned Morgana in order to stop the sleeping spell.  
6\. His father was Balinor and he is now a Dragonlord. He pardoned the dragon and let it go.   
a. Dragonlords can come from both noble families and common folk.  
b. The gift of a Dragonlord is passed down from father to son.  
c. Some Dragonlords have magic – don’t tell Merlin, he’ll faint like a girl.  
7\. Merlin was the one who stopped the skeleton army and Uther’s visions – Morgana claimed the honor at the time.  
8\. 

“I… What… I…” Merlin tried to say something but no thoughts formed coherently.

“You’re not the complete idiot I’ve always said you were. We know that now. What you did, Merlin, there are no words. You’ve gone beyond the call of duty, beyond what anyone would have expected - what anyone else would have done, even! There’s only one thing I can say right now.” Merlin looked bewildered and a bit tearful, clearly having expected a shouting match or a reprimand. “Thank you.” Arthur said with sincerity.

Gwen walked forward and gave Merlin a hug, causing him to finally find his voice again. “You’re welcome.” He said with a tremulous smile.

“Now, the hour is late, you should get to bed.” Guinevere gently scolded and lead him to the door. “We’ll see you in the morning.”

Merlin gave her one last smile, a nod to Arthur and then left.

“Do you think it was wise, showing him all we have learned?” Arthur asked as he wrapped his arms around Guinevere.

“He was clearly terrified at you knowing about him being a Dragonlord, I think it was best to show him all that we have learned. He will contemplate it all tonight and will then know that he can speak to us about these things. He won’t have to carry the burden of these secrets alone anymore.”

Arthur nodded and they made their way to bed, it was getting rather late.

**********************************************

 _They don’t know. They don’t know._ Merlin’s thoughts were running a mile a minute. Arthur now knew a fair amount of his secrets, more than Merlin was comfortable with to be honest, but he – they – didn’t know about the magic. In fact, they thought it a ridiculous concept if Arthur’s little note about Dragonlords was anything to go by.

“But for how long?” Merlin muttered to himself. The Diamair had gifted Arthur with the stone, certainly he/it knew what Arthur would be able to handle and what not? Would it reveal Merlin’s magic to Arthur? Merlin couldn’t know for certain but it was a worrying possibility.

“Are you alright, Merlin?” Mordred’s voice brought him from his contemplations and Merlin fought the instinctive urge to scowl at the man. He had done nothing wrong, not yet. He was a good knight and he was trying so hard to fit in. Merlin didn’t really want to make things difficult for him but he could not forget the vision he had seen.

“I’m fine, thank you Mordred. Just found out some shocking news, nothing bad, don’t worry.” Merlin assured as Mordred took a concerned step forward. “It’s late.” Merlin said before Mordred could ask any more questions.

“Of course. Good night Merlin.”

“Good night.”

*******************************************

The next morning, Gwen was behind the screen, putting the final touches on her hair as Merlin entered with their breakfast.

“Morning Sire! My Lady.” Merlin gave a nod to them both and se the tray on the table. While they ate, he made the bed and picked up the laundry, muttering about Arthur’s clothes scattered across the floor.

“Morning Merlin.” Gwen replied before she started eating. There was an awkward silence in the air. Neither Arthur nor Gwen willing to discuss the secrets they had uncovered, not with the man in question right there in the room. Merlin also seemed unwilling to talk about it, or anything else for that matter and kept puttering around until he had all the clothes in the basket.

“Well then. I’ll just go do these and then come back for the dishes.” Without waiting for a response, Merlin left.

Arthur looked at the door after it closed. “I didn’t think things would be so awkward.” He confessed.

“Give it time, before you know it, he will be himself again.”

“Annoying, you mean.” Arthur said with resignation.

“You enjoy his banter, don’t deny it.”

“Fine, whatever you say. Are you ready to watch the next memory?”

Together they stood and Arthur reached to turn the stone over.

_The doors to the throne room opened up, a choir singing in the background. Gwen walked down the isle, looking resplendent in a purple gown. Arthur stood before her and all those gathered as she knelt before him. With solemn dignity Arthur began the ceremony. “By the sacred laws vested in me, I pronounce you Guinevere, Queen of Camelot.” Guinevere smiled up at Arthur as he reached down to pull her up next to him. They smiled at each other and at the gathering, Merlin looking on in pride._

_Morgana woke with a gasp as the dream ended but for her, it was more a nightmare than anything else and she worriedly touched her healing bracelet, wondering why it had not stopped this dream._

_Morgana was walking through Arthur’s chambers, holding something in her hand. When she reached the bed, she pulled the pillows up and placed a poultice down, covering it again with the pillows._

_Uther was sitting at his desk completing some kind of paperwork when there was a knock at the door. “Enter.” Morgana entered and Uther’s face lit up. “Morgana.”_

_”I was concerned about you, my lord. You weren’t at dinner.” She walked over to pick up a candelabra._

_”Ugh! I have no appetite.”_

_”You’re worried about Arthur.”_

_”I do not understand his feelings for this girl. She’s a servant.”_

_Morgana began lighting the candles as she answered, “It is strange that…”_

_”What?” Uther asked._

_”Arthur tells me everything, and he’s never expressed any feelings for Gwen. And suddenly he’s declaring his love for her.”_

Gwen gasps and Arthur feels his shock mirrored in her. Morgana had known about his feelings, had even encouraged him to set up that picnic, the picnic she and Uther had interrupted…

_”What are you saying, Morgana?”_

_”I’m sure there’s an explanation.”_

_”Speak your mind.”_

_”You yourself have noticed Arthur’s strange mood. It’s almost as though he’s… been enchanted.”_

“That’s where my father got the idea. That’s why they were searching my chambers. She set us up.” Arthur was both angry and hurt but not nearly as surprised as he would have been, had he found out at the time.

Guinevere covered her mouth. “All because she had a dream about me becoming Queen. She never wanted me on the throne and she knew Uther would execute me if he ever suspected me of sorcery.”

“But the old man…?” Arthur and Gwen looked at each other, neither knowing the answer.

_The old man glanced around the corner where Arthur was speaking to two guards. With a grimace of a smile, he walked purposefully down the hall, making sure that Arthur saw him. Arthur followed with a frown. The old man made his way into the prince’s chambers and to his bed, glancing behind him, he started muttering indistinctive words but he glanced around to be sure that the prince had followed him and would find him here. Arthur approached with his sword drawn. “Show yourself. Who are you?” the old man looked pleased to have been found._

_”I am… Dragoon, The Great” He proclaimed._

_”Is it you who planted the poultice in my bed?” Arthur asked_

_Looking down at the poultice in his hands, Dragoon confessed. “You have caught me red-handed. I have no choice but to confess.”_

_”An innocent girl almost died because of your actions.”_

_”I suppose your father will have to release her, now that you’ve caught me.”_

The scene ended there and Arthur was grateful, he did not want his wife to see how easily this old man had bested him.

“I don’t understand. If Morgana was the one who planted the first poultice and framed me, why did this old man plant a second one?”

“You saw his face, Arthur, he wanted to be caught. He planned it so that you caught him red-handed. He saved me!”

“But why?” Arthur asked, confused beyond anything.

“I don’t know. But I’m grateful.”

“It still doesn’t excuse him. He killed my father.”

Gwen squeezed his hand but they didn’t say anything.

**End Chapter 5**


	6. Reasons

**Chapter disclaimer:** S01E03, S01E04, S01E09

**Reasons**

There were so many questions without answers. The more Arthur learned, the more he realised that he actually knew very little. Had his father really gone to a sorcerer in order to gain an heir? Had Arthur been born of magic? Was his father’s hatred of magic a cover for his guilt in his wife’s death?

How could Arthur find the answers to these questions? Would the stone show him something if he asked? That thought sounded just plain ridiculous in his head but should he try? Should he take the chance?

“What is on your mind, Arthur?” Guinevere asked as she helped him out of his armour. Merlin had gone to the kitchens for their dinner so Gwen was helping Arthur until his return.

“Except for the obvious?” Arthur asked back.

Guinevere turned him around to loosen one of the ties at the back but not before Arthur saw her raised eyebrow. With a sigh, he tried to explain his thoughts.

“Could the stone show us something specific, a memory that we ask it to show? Could it show us something that we don’t even know about, something we don’t know to ask for by name? Does that even make sense??”

As the chainmail is pulled over his head, Arthur gives a silent sigh of relief that the heavy, cumbersome items are all off now. He stretches his arms above his head a bit and then pulls Guinevere into his arms after she had set the last item down.

“I think I understand, but I don’t know if it is possible. There’s only one way to find out. Try it.”

“Should we wait for Merlin? He knows now what the stone has showed us, and most of the secrets revolves around him.”

“What is it you want the stone to show? That should answer the question if Merlin should be here or not.”

“Then I guess it doesn’t really matter if he’s here or not. I want to know about my father, his motivations for the purge. The reasons for all the decisions he made. It might not be the honourable thing to do, but if I’m to uphold my father’s legacy, I need to understand it first.”

“Then ask your question and see if the stone will provide you with answers.”

Arthur picked up the stone but didn’t know what to ask. Keep it simple and vague or ask about a specific event, like his birth? No, that would limit the answer/s. A question with more possible answers would be best.

“Show me why my father distrusts magic.”

_Gaius entered the council chambers with something held in his hands. Uther was laughing at something one of the members showed him. “Good news, Sire.” Gaius said. “There are no new deaths and those that are sick are recovering.”_

_”Good.” Uther proclaims, “Strange, I’ve never heard of an afanc before.”_

_”It’s conjured from clay by powerful magic. The type that can only be invoked by an ancient sorcerer. One who has the power to mirror the spirit of life.” Uther stops drinking from his cup, clearly troubled by the news. “I found this at the water source.” Gaius continues, unwrapping the thing in his hands. “It bears the mark of Nimueh.”_

_”No.” Uther breathes in shock._

_”We must be vigilant, Sire.”_

_”Will I never be rid of her?”_

The scene changed but it was still the council chambers, only now there were more people there and they were busy strategizing for war.

_”Sire, forgive the interruption, but may I speak with you.” Gaius asks as he enters._

_”Not now.” Uther replies._

_”Your highness, it is important.”_

_”Word of Bayard’s arrest has got back to Mercia. We’re about to be attacked.” Uther responds._

_”I fear that what I have to tell you may have some bearing on your plans. Please, it will only take a moment.” Uther stands back, far enough to give the illusion of privacy for the two of them._

_”I know who tried to poison Arthur.”_

_”So do I, he’s locked in my dungeons.”_

_”It wasn’t Bayard. The poison was magical. And I’d recognise the hand that made it anywhere…” Gaius looked around to make sure that no one could hear him, “Nimueh”._

_”You must be mistaken.” Uther declares._

_”I wish I was.”_

_”It can’t have been. We’d know her. That witch’s face is not easily forgotten.”_

_”She’s a powerful sorceress. She can enchant the eye that beholds her. We never knew it was her.”_

_”Have you any proof?”_

_”The poison used against Merlin was made more potent by the use of magic.”_

_”You’re saying that she conspired with Bayard to kill Arthur?”_

_”No. Bayard is innocent. Look at what’s happening. This is what she’s wanted all along… A war to bring strife and misery to Camelot.”_

_”How long before Bayard’s armies reach our walls?” Uther asked his First Knight._

_”A day. Maybe less. We should send our cavalry out to meet them.”_

_Uther bends over the table and contemplates the situation. “Instruct your men not to leave Camelot until I give the word.”_

_”Yes sire.”_

_”You are making the right decision, sire.” Gaius approves. Uther looks down, pondering the choice. “Do you think Arthur should be told the truth about Nimueh?”_

The scene ends there and Arthur can’t hold in his frustrated growl. Nimueh. He’s heard that name a few times now and realizes that Gaius was keeping secrets of his father, even now with Uther long dead. Luckily for Gaius (Arthur was sorely tempted to seek him out right that moment), the next scene had already started.

_Uther was sitting alone in the dark when the doors suddenly opened. He reached for his sword on the table but exhaled in relief when he saw it was only Gaius. “Yes?” He asked._

_”I’m sorry to disturb you, sire.”_

_”What is it?”_

_”The knight, the stranger… he bears the crest of Tristan De Bois.”_ Arthur gasps, his hand going to his mouth as he hears the name of his mother’s brother. As far as he knew, his uncle had been dead since shortly after his birth.

_”Yes.” Uther confirms_

_”But he’s been dead for 20 years.” Gaius says in confusion._

_”I know. I killed him.”_

_”Then how do you explain…”_

_”Dead men do not return.” Uther looks at Gaius and they regard each other in silence. There is an unspoken conversation between them, as if they both know that there is more to the situation than they were saying. At last, Gaius bows and walks out._

The scene changes again.

_Uther is pacing in the council chambers when the doors open to admit Gaius. “Good evening, sire.”_

_”Gaius.” Uther greets._

_”There is a matter of great urgency which I must discuss with you.”_

_”Then spit it out.”_

_”Tristan’s tomb is empty.” Uther looks at Gaius in surprise. “I believe he has been conjured from the dead.”_

_”How is this possible?”_

_”I believe he’s a wraith.”_

_”A spirit?” Uther asks_

_”He has come to take vengeance for Ygraine’s death.”_

_”It was magic that killed her, not I.”_

_”Nevertheless, it was you he blamed. You cannot allow Arthur to fight. No weapon forged by man can kill a wraith. It will stop at nothing till it has accomplished what it came for. Arthur cannot win, he will die.”_

_”He will not listen to me.”_

_”Then you must tell him who the knight is.”_

_”No.” Uther rejects._

_Gaius gave a disapproving frown. “You cannot hide the truth forever.”_

_”I am the King. You will not tell me what I can and cannot do.”_

_”That is your choice, sire.. you tell him, or let him go to his death.”_

_”No one but you or I will ever know the secret of Arthur’s birth.”_

_”The boy is of age. He should know.”_

_”Never. You made an oath. I warn you not to break it.”_

_Gaius looks at his King for a long moment before acquiescing. “Very well, sire.”_

_”Leave me.” Uther orders and Gaius bows before exiting, both men still deep in troubled thought._

“So, it’s true. All my mother told me, it’s all true.” Arthur said with a painful lump in his throat. Guinevere squeezes his hand, not trying to placate him with empty words or lies. It was painfully clear to both of them that there had to be some truth to what his mother had told him.

The next scene started and Gwen could only stand there and give silent comfort to her husband.

_The door to the physician’s chambers open and Uther steps in. Gaius shakes the water from his hands where he had been busy cleaning them. “I’m sorry” Uther states as he enters. “You knew that one day this business would come back to haunt me.”_

_”Not quite so literally.” Gaius says as he dries his hands._

_”I should have listened to you. You said that no good would come of using witchcraft at Arthur’s birth.”_

_”You wanted an heir. You thought it was the only way.”_

_”You told me there would be a price to pay.”_

_”You weren’t to know that that price would be Ygraine’s life.”_

_”I cannot let Arthur die.”_

_”Then you must stop the fight.”_

_”No. I will take his place.”_

_”Do you know what you’re saying?” Gaius asked_

_”Ygraine gave up her life for him. So must I.”_

_”Uther.”_

_”I have no other choice.”_

As the scene faded, Arthur felt tears sting his cheeks. The truth of the matter, the truth behind his birth, everything he had learned all came rushing through him. His father’s sins might have been many and Arthur did not know if he could forgive this one but knowing that his father was willing to give up his life for him, and that in the end Uther had died defending his son, went a long way in taming his rage.

Arthur waited a whole minute but no other scene started.

“Thank you.” Arthur says out loud, feeling a bit silly for thanking a stone, or a creature that couldn’t possibly hear him but thankful nonetheless that he had finally learned the truth.

The stone glowed as if in answer but as Arthur and Gwen turned to each other, another image appeared, this time without them even touching the stone.

_Uther was sitting next to Morgana’s sick-bed. “So beautiful.” He says as he caresses her hair._

_”Yes, sire.” Gaius answers._

_Merlin sits in his room just a few steps away from where the King is speaking to Gaius. “I cannot watch her die, Gaius.”_

_”I wish there was something I could do.”_

_”No, you don’t understand. I cannot lose her. No matter what happens, she cannot die.”_

_Merlin moves closer to his door in order to hear a bit better._ “That nosy, insolent idiot! He could be flogged if he’s caught.” Arthur rants, Guinevere setting a calming hand on his arm.

_”I will do everything I can, Sire.”_

_”No, Gaius, whatever it takes.. Whatever, I don’t care. You MUST save her.”_

_”If I knew a way…”_

_”You’re not understanding me, Gaius. Cure her. I don’t care what remedy you use.” Uther had turned his stern gaze on Gaius, “In all these books there must be something. Something in the Old Religion?” Gaius pulls back in surprise, “Are you suggesting..” Merlin also pulls back a bit from the door, clearly just as surprised. “Sorcery, yes.” Uther confirms._

_Gaius is at a loss for words. “I know she’s dear to you, sire, but surely you’re not going to risk everything for Morgana.”_

_”Gaius, you don’t understand. There’s something you should know.. Something I’ve told no one. Morgana is my daughter. It was while Gorlois was away.” Uther had turned to face Gaius and did not see the movement of Morgana’s eyes under their lids, or the twitching of her finger. “He was fighting on the Northern plains. Her mothing Vivian grew lonely.”_

_”I understand, sire.” Gaius exhales as the implication hits him, Merlin still listening at the door in astonished silence._

_”I’ve said enough. The people must never know who Morgana really is, for Arthur’s sake.”_

_”I assure you, sire, the secret is safe with me.”_

_Uther inclines his head and departs, Gaius making his way to Merlin’s room, knowing that his ward had heard every word. “That explains everything. No wonder he spent a year looking for her.” Merlin says as Gaius closes the door._

_”Now we know why she can do no wrong.”_

Arthur didn’t realise he was trembling until he felt Guinevere take hold of his hand and lead him over to a chair. So many thoughts were running through his mind, he didn’t know which to voice first or even how. After condemning so many people to the pyre for using magic, whether for good or bad, his father turned to it when he was the one in need. The hypocrisy of it grated at Arthur. He, himself, had turned to magic in order to save his father, thinking that his father would hate him for resorting to such measures.

Merlin had heard the truth that day, that’s why he had not been as shocked as Arthur when he had found out. At first, Arthur was angry that Merlin had not told him but then he remembered that Merlin had effectively eavesdropped on the King and could have been flogged or even hanged if the king found out. Arthur knew himself well enough that he would not have been able to keep his knowledge from his father, Uther would have thought Gaius had betrayed him (which would have had him killed) or might even have found out that Merlin was the one to inform Arthur.

His friend, his servant, held so many secrets, many of which could have him executed by the laws of the land. Arthur wanted to strangle Merlin because of the sheer stupidity of his actions. Didn’t he have a care for himself? With how many times Merlin had put his life on the line for Arthur, he was beginning to think that no, Merlin really did not care about his own wellbeing. 

Guinevere did not speak, did not offer any words of comfort, knowing that Arthur would not appreciate empty platitudes right now. Instead, she simply stayed at the desk, doing some paperwork for the council and simply being there for Arthur with her quiet strength and support.

He was thankful and he gave her a brief smile as she looked up from her work before turning his head away and brooding on all they had learned today.

**End Chapter 6**


	7. Magic

**Chapter Disclaimer: S01E01, S01E04, S01E10, S02E03, S03E05**

**Magic**

Arthur had spent the night thinking about what they had seen. He had, he knew, unconsciously already accepted the possibility that his father was responsible for his mother’s death, if inadvertently.

The balance of the world, he understood, needed to be restored after the gift of life was granted. Even though his father had not known that his mother would be the price, the fact that he was willing to bargain away some nameless person’s life didn’t sit well with Arthur. That was one thing that had always separated him from his father, Arthur loved his people, all of them, even the poorest peasant. His father, much as he loved and admired him, was flawed in that regard.

Merlin’s secrets, much as Arthur hated them, he understood the need for them. If Merlin had told anyone that he had gone to a sorceress in order to save Arthur, he would have been executed – no matter the motive. He would not have told anyone of Morgana’s magic, too loyal to betray a secret not his own. Telling anyone that he had poisoned her, even though the alternative would have been the fall of Camelot, would have resulted in his execution – Uther would have understood the reason but would not have been able to accept the results. Eavesdropping on the King, hanged or flogged. Revealing himself as the Dragonlord, executed. Every single secret that Arthur had uncovered of Merlin would have resulted in a brutal punishment or death. Arthur understood and even accepted that, he just didn’t like it.

“Sire.” Merlin gave a half bow as he set the breakfast tray on the table. Arthur only just managed not to jump at the sudden appearance – he had been too deep in thought.

“Thank you, Merlin. What is on the schedule for today?”

“My Lady,” Merlin pulls out the chair for Guinevere and gently takes her hand as he seats her at the table.

“There are a few petitions from outer villages first thing, then you need to preside over a competition as one of the judges and this afternoon a training session with the knights.”

“Please tell me it is not another Garland competition.” Arthur says, the horror clear in his voice. Merlin’s face breaks into that bright grin of his and Arthur knows that this is even worse, though he can’t imagine what it could be.

“No. It is a poetry competition! Leon was the one to volunteer your services.” Merlin says with a grin as he quickly backs away to the door.

“Merlin!!” Arthur shouts, searching around for a projectile he can throw at his mischievous manservant. Merlin’s laughter floats in from the corridor where he has already disappeared.

“This is all his fault!” Arthur grumbles, and at Gwen’s soft laughter but questioning look, he explains their run-in with Leon the other night.

Gwen’s laughter soothes Arthur’s indignation and he smiles as they finish their breakfast. He would get Merlin back for this, he wasn’t sure how yet, but he would get him back.

***********************

“Your bath is ready, Sire.” Merlin says as he pours the last bucket into the tub. Guinevere had taken her bath that morning so Arthur knows that they won’t be sharing his tonight.

Arthur makes his way to the bath and after taking off the last of his clothing, he lowers himself in with a sigh.

Merlin putters about, getting Arthur’s nightclothes and pulling down the blanket on the bed. When Arthur has thoroughly soaked himself and cleaned away the filth of the day, he calls out to Merlin to hand him his towel.

It is a routine that they had become comfortable with over the many years and Arthur is not the least bit embarrassed as he pulls the towel around his waist.

“We will look at another memory from the stone tonight, if you want to stay, you may do so.” Arthur and Gwen had discussed this and they had decided that the question Arthur wants an answer to tonight is one they want Merlin to hear as well. To be honest, it is a question which Arthur wants to hear the answer to from Merlin himself but not tonight, tonight they just want honest, unbiased opinions.

Merlin looks uncertain but Arthur doesn’t press, he knows that there are more secrets Merlin is keeping but he is fairly certain that his question to the stone tonight will not reveal any of them.

By the time Guinevere had returned from her evening stroll through the gardens, Arthur was dressed and relaxing in a chair by the fire with a glass of wine. Merlin had taken the dishes to the kitchen but just a minute after Gwen’s return, he walked in.

“I’ll watch with you, tonight.” Merlin says with a confidence that is betrayed by the slight shaking of his hands.

Gwen smiles and Arthur puts his glass down before standing up.

“Let us seek some more answers then.”

Picking up the stone and turning it over, Arthur sets it down as he asks “Show me if magic is good or evil.”

Merlin’s sharp intake of breath is audible in the silence that follows but Arthur doesn’t know the reason for it. Is Merlin surprised because Arthur is questioning what he has always believed? Questioning his father’s motives? After reading their list, Merlin should know that Arthur would question everything he had been taught!

Merlin’s only thought was _Please don’t show me. Please don’t show me using magic._

_An image was forming of a forest but before it could completely solidify it fades and a new image takes its place. (Merlin breathes a silent breath of relief, knowing that his wish had been heard and acknowledged.) A blond serving girl, holding a tray of fruit, knocks on a door. “Lady Helen,” she says as the door opens “Compliments of the King.” Lady Helen smiles and says “Come in.” Sitting at her mirror, Lady Helen picks up an apple. “So sweet. How will I ever repay him?”_

_The serving girl is cleaning up the room, removing fabrics from furniture as she replies. “When he hears you sing, that’ll be more than enough, won’t it? I’m really looking forward to the performance.” She stokes the fire in the hearth._

_”So am I.” Lady Helen replies. The serving girl picks up another piece of fabric. “I love singing, you know. I sing all the time. My betrothed says I have the voice of a fallen angel.” She’s admiring the flowers in a vase and then pulling the fabric from the mirror where she sees not the face of Lady Helen, but that of an old woman, the old woman whose son had been executed not long ago. She gasps and looks at the Lady Helen fearfully. She tries to walk out as quickly as possible but the lady grabs her wrist and starts humming. “Shh.” In less than ten seconds, the servant lies dead on the floor._

Arthur and Guinevere look at each other in shock. They had known about the servant’s death, of course, but they had not known how it happened. It is a frightening thought that someone could kill you with just a touch. Was the stone telling them that magic was indeed evil?

_Arthur was in a dark cave, hanging from a ledge. It was dark but suddenly there was a ball of light floating in the air next to him. “Come on then! What are you waiting for? Finish me off!” He screams, thinking it is the witch who had left him in that cave that sent the light. The light does nothing to harm him, however, merely hanging there before lifting into the air._

_Arthur now sees the flower he came here for, the whole reason for his quest. The light beckon him to follow but he is stubborn and will not leave without the flower that is needed to save Merlin. The spiders are closing in but Arthur grabs for the flower and at last he has one. Tucking it into his belt, Arthur grabs for the wall and then takes off his gloves with his teeth, knowing he would move faster without them. The light is still there, showing him the way and moving faster, as if beckoning him to do so as well. He looks up and sees the opening at the top, the light now disappearing through the hole, leaving Arthur to follow or stay and let the spiders finish him off._

Gwen grabs his hand, already knowing the story but it’s still a frightening scene, seeing your husband go through something like that.

“One incident, especially one where the motive is so unclear, does not inspire me to look at magic in a favourable way.” Arthur says softly and as if in answer, another scene starts to form.

_Arthur was fighting Kanen’s men but as he looked up, an unnatural wind picked up and tossed all the enemy fighters from their horses. The villagers were also thrown from their feet but they rallied quickly and the fight was won within minutes._

Arthur turned to face Merlin, there were unshed tears in Merlin’s eyes but he took a deep breath and fought them back. “I had forgotten that your friend had magic, that he used it to save us.” Arthur would have said more, asked a few questions maybe, but another scene was starting.

_Morgana was walking with a man through a Druid camp. ”They have nothing to fear from me. I do not share Uther’s hatred of magic.”_

_”No, I imagine you wouldn’t. These forests are dangerous. What brings you so far from Camelot?”_

_”I’m searching for answers. I hoped the Druids might be able to give them to me.”_

_Merlin was moving silently between the tents, hoping to find Morgana alone and convince her to come back to Camelot._

_”What would you like to know?” The man asked Morgana_

_”Why I can see the future in my dreams? Why I’m able to start fires with my mind?” Morgana is clearly scared and confused._

_”People who are able to do this are few and far between. You have a gift.”_

_”Is it magic?” Morgana asks_

_”Of a kind, yes. It will take many years before you’re able to understand it fully, let alone use it. This isn’t something to be afraid of.” The man assures as Morgana takes an unsteady breath_

_”It is if you have Uther as your guardian. If he found out he’d have me killed.”_

_”He won’t.”_

_”But if he did.”_

_”We won’t let that happen. You’re safe here. You shouldn’t be scared of Uther, you should pity him.” Merlin listened from his hiding place, weighing his options now that Uther had sent a search party for Morgana._

_”Pity? Why?” Morgana asks_

_”Because he’s a broken man, consumed by fear. His hatred of magic has driven goodness from his heart.”_

_”I’ve always been taught that magic is evil. That it corrupts your soul.”_

_”Uther told you this. Just because he decrees it, doesn’t make it so. In time you will learn that magic isn’t a dark art that must be shrouded in secrecy. It can be a force for good.” Morgana looks relieved to hear that and Merlin smiles where he is still hiding behind the tent._ Arthur thinks that Merlin must have been thinking of his friend, Will, who had used his magic for good.

The scene fades away and Arthur turns to Merlin. “You warned them we were coming, didn’t you?” There is no accusation in his voice, just factual knowledge and Merlin nods. “Too late though, all I could do was create a diversion.” Merlin said with a sad lilt to his voice. Arthur nods, not pressing for details yet.

“Morgana had been so scared.” Guinevere said softly from behind them. Arthur nods again, he had seen that as well. Merlin started saying something but another scene was starting and he fell silent.

_Merlin was kneeling next to a stream, cleaning his hands with tears running down his cheeks, soft sobs escaping him. “Tell me, why are you so sad?” A man suddenly asks._

_Merlin looks up in surprise and suspicion but decides that there is little he can lose by answering truthfully. “It’s my friend… He’s dying. And I can’t help him.”_

_”Then do not waste your tears, for I can tell you that the time for him to die is not yet upon us.” Merlin looks at the man, not sure what he means. “Don’t be afraid. My name is Taliesin.”_

_”I’m Merlin.”_

_”I know who you are. The moment of our meeting has been written for many many years.”_

The scene stops there but immediately another takes its place and it doesn’t seem as if the scene has changed at all.

_The man takes hold of Arthur and turns him on his side so that he can place his hand on his back. A word and glowing eyes later, Arthur is groaning a bit and shifting in his sleep. “Arthur?” Merlin asks. “He is sleeping. Within hours he will be fully recovered.”_

“Another secret Merlin? When exactly was this?” Arthur asks as he turns to his friend.

Merlin looks a bit sheepish as he answers. “There was an incident, many years ago, after the skeleton army but before the immortal one, where we tried to outrun a large group of bandits in the valley of the fallen kings. We were running and you got shot in the back.”

“I remember. You told me it was an arrow. Later you told me it didn’t pierce my armour. I thought there was something you weren’t telling me! A sorcerer healed me!” Arthur isn’t sure if he should feel indignant for that or grateful. He settled for confused, “Why would a sorcerer heal me?”

“You heard him, it was not your time to die.” Merlin said, as if that explained everything.

“Yes, Merlin, I heard him, but that doesn’t explain why a sorcerer would help the son of a king who would have him executed.”

Merlin gives a shrug, not knowing the answer either.

The stone has not produced another scene so Arthur turns to Gwen. “Do you have any theories? Or any insight on any of the scenes from today?”

“Well, we did see magic used for good, the first was innocuous, the second was to help turn the battle in our favour. The third scene didn’t really show magic in any way but it showed that fear and grief is what drove Uther’s purge and it showed that Druids believe magic should be used for good. It also showed that Morgana fears her magic, I would not be surprised if she still feared it but instead of learning how to use it for good or how to trust in her magic, she now used it out of fear. Fear of being caught, fear of being thought weak or a monster. What drove Uther might be the exact same emotion that drives Morgana. Uther’s fear had turned to hate, I think Morgana’s has as well. She hates herself for what she has become but the fear is fuelling it.” Guinevere trails off and Merlin gives her shoulder a squeeze, knowing that she still remembers the days where Morgana had been filled with love and concern towards others, the days before her fear of what she could do had taken over.

Before anything else could be said, there was a sharp rap on the door and Arthur called out “Enter”.

Leon walked in, giving a bow. “Sire, my Lady. The princess Mithian has arrived, I fear something has happened.”

**End chapter 7**


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